The People's Cube
Bush Fails To Prevent East Coast Blizzard

As President Bush and his staff cowered in the White House, the snow continued to pile up on the many poor and African-American victims who could not afford to get out of town or to safety in Florida. Crucial supplies of blankets, hot cocoa, popcorn, and dark rum - so essential to surviving the stress of any major snowstorm - lay in stores undelivered.

"Where is the government? I need my sidewalk shoveled so I can get out to buy my damn lottery tickets!" said one D.C. resident from his living room. "Why are we wasting money in Iraq when we could be spending it here on me?"

Another inner-city tragedy: community facilities paralyzed by the snowstorm leave male population of inner-cities with no other choice than to engage in drugs, looting, and pimping.
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Sen. John Kerry: "I have always been a staunch supporter of anti-snow legislation, except for certain locations where I ski."

Snow Update: The Administration gave out over a million debit cards for $2,000 a shot to help refugees from the snow storm weather it out. A further investigation revealed that many of the residents, instead of buying snow shoes or blankets, instead spent the money on casinos, booze, and hookers. Some, unfortunately, could not wait to get to a motel.

Taking its cue from the Katrina disaster, FEMA did at least do one thing right to help the handicapped who would have been stranded for a few days without help. FEMA purchased specially made snow-wheelchairs from the Zakopane Ski-resort in Poland.

Efforts to get some of the local natives jobs while the storm was in effect proved futile. A local homeboy in Washington D.C. when offered a job driving a snowplow said, "WTF - in this weather?"

As in previous disasters, help came from all over the country. Here we have a snow-blower donated by Clem Hatfield from Tennessee. Clem says back home they calls it the "Moniker Lewrinski". Hale, that dang thing'll blow the snow clear all the way to Mexico!.