Why, Why, Why - and some answers

lysol lemon

This list of questions has been bobbing up all over the Internet for years. It's been needing an update and so I have added some comments to the list and some new questions.

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and household cleaning liquids made with real lemons?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

I have never met anyone named Pavlov so why does his name ring a bell?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? [Because we remember what he said he would do to our penis when we first took out his daughter]

How come in the '60's, people took drugs to make the world weird and now the world is weird and people take drugs to make it normal?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? [We know why - but it's an interesting question nonetheless]

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

What hair color do they put on the drivers’ licenses of bald men?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? [Obviously if we had longer arms and time enough, we would check that out too]

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? [Because Jane says so]

supermanWhy does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? [Moreover, why does he wear his underwear on the outside of his tights and what kind of man wears a cape anyway?]

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? [Actually, it's cold up there. To push the question to its logical conclusion, why do they bother wearing any clothes at all?]

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? [To tell the difference from people who do not have a lithp]

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? [Who said ALL the apes evolved? - More importantly, who said ALL humans are evolved?]

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

colored bubblesWhy is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? [We may need to retire this question because colored bubbles have been invented.]

Why do unbreakable toys cost 99 cents and those that break easily $49.99?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

How come one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? [get an Orech]

How come we only find something lost around the house when we buy a replacement?

How come when we succeed it's always in private but when we fail it's always in public?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? [there is a secret way to open all plastic bags that we are not taught in school]

How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures? [More importantly - why do they go there to die?]

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" [We only do that when we are surrounded with a 6,000 pound SUV]

How come hard work pays off in the future but laziness pays off now?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Why does the Catholic Church view condoms as inconceivable?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? [and why do tv psychics have to ask you for your name, anyway?]

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? [I suppose because if they do it right it's not malpractice]

What would happen if I gave my right arm to be ambidextrous?

Why is it that to stop Windows XP, you have to click on "Start"?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
dog food cartoon flavorWhen dog food is NEW AND IMPROVED TASTING, who tests it?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why do you always spill gravy on a clean tablecloth?

If an exorcist misses a car payment does his car get repossessed?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What the hell is a whack? And where can we buy some?

If being disgruntled means being unhappy, how come we never see any gruntled people?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happened to the other penny?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they already stale?

cave ripened blue cheese When someone takes a picture of cheese, what do they say?

Why does a ship carry cargo and a truck carry shipments?

How come we park on the driveway and drive on the parkway?

If a guy who plays the piano is called a pianist, how come a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If "I am" is supposedly the shortest sentence in the English language, how come "I do" is the longest sentence?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Why is it that half the people you know are below average?

Did Yasser Arafat really say, "I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize"?

Why is it no one ever says, "It’s only a game” when their team is winning.

### End of my article ###

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