Six Weird Things About Me

weird tales Courtesy of the rightwingprof

I have been tagged. The rules are simple:

List 6 weird things about oneself then find 6 poor shlubs to tag. When you tag someone you need to leave a comment that says "you've been tagged!" in their comment section, point them to your blog post explaining the rules and laugh quietly to yourself that you've helped propagate another meaningless meme.

For each of these 6 weird things about me, I intend to further expand in future blog posts.

  1. Although I am not gay, I have roomed with over 100 strange men.

  2. I know over 30,000 jokes and can keep a wedding table in stitches for the entire evening. In addition, I can supply the punchline to almost any joke simply by hearing the first few words. My wife married me because I made her laugh. She's still laughing.

  3. I got over a terrible sexual addiction a few years ago: I had sex with over a thousand women. 88 girls during the spring semester in 1970 alone at Wagner College in Staten Island (A Lutheran College at the time) while I was editor of the school newspaper. As editor I ordered without authorization from the Journalism department a $27,000 IBM typesetter which helped the school save thousands in printing costs. Although they were upset they continued paying $9,000 a year for two years after I left in order to own the damn thing.

  4. I know 141 words in 25 different languages. With this small subset I can go into any foreign restaurant and in their language ask for the menu, order food, ask how much something costs, ask directions to the men's room, ask for the check, say hello or goodbye, count out change, and say thank you. Preparatory to engaging many of the young ladies in #3 above, I would take them to Hungarian, Greek, Russian, Japanese restaurants in New York and impress them with my (unknown to them,limited) language skills.

  5. I love to cook and I am very religious about it, see some of my rules for cooking. Although we both love to eat each other's cooking, my wife and I cannot be in the kitchen at the same time. Our rules for cooking are so opposed to each other that we spend too much time defending our practices rather than properly paying attention to what we are doing. But in all other things in life except for this, my wife and I have exactly the same views: on religion, parenting, the death penalty, abortion, crime, true compassion for the plight of the world's poor, etc.

  6. I can pan one eye left to right while keeping one eye stationary. This is no end of amusement to small children at parties and helps me keep one eye on the woman in front of me while watching another walk by.

I hope these didn't weird you out and understand that this does not exhaust allllll the weird things about me.

I will tag these people shortly (bwaaahahahah):

Beth, angel, indigo red, butch and David

### End of my article ###

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