Muslim Miss Universe Contest

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People take photographs of a Damascene goat, which won the Most Beautiful Goat title, during the Mazayen al-Maaz competition in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia...
People take photographs of a Damascene goat, which
won the Most Beautiful Goat title, during the Mazayen
al-Maaz competition in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia...
Photo Credit: Reuters

Say whatever you want about how backward Muslims are in regard to keeping their sex objects veiled and their loathing of Western style beauty contests but when Muslims have a Miss Muslim Universe Contest their appreciation of beauty is unrivaled as the entrants are completely naked exposing all the delights that heaven can confer.

Here are the details:

IBN Live, Saudi Arabia holds its first 'beautiful goat' pageant

Riyadh: First it was camels. Now Saudi Arabia has held its first "beautiful goat" pageant.

Owners of pedigree "Najdi" goats from around the Gulf region converged on Riyadh this week, hoping to win the prize for top male and female goat, following in the footsteps of lucrative camel competitions which have taken off in recent years.


The goats are named after the central Najd region of Saudi Arabia, where the goats have a distinctive high nose bridge and shaggy hair with a fine, silky quality.

Interestingly the term GILF in America means a "Grandmother I'd Like to Fondle" (or something to that effect). However I'm sure Muslims use GILF to mean something altogether different. So when a Muslim says he's horny, he's being literal. Just look at the cameras clicking away at the rear-end of our female beauty and you know that some Ahmed will be putting that up on his tent wall. To mix two animal metaphors, I'm sure Muslims are the only people on Earth who choke the chicken to the song "Mary had a little lamb."

For the Mohammed-faithful who are just not into goats but are looking for a female with long willowy legs, large coal-black eyes, and curvaceous bodies there's always the Miss Camel Pageant. As I wrote in a previous post: "A woman is only a woman, but a good camel will last the entire night."

It should be noted that last November a leading authority of Saudi Arabia's hardline school of Islam condemned camel beauty contests as evil, saying those involved should seek repentance in God.

Some of my readers may object that in America, we too have state fairs where we show off the finer points of cows, pigs, and other animals, so why make fun of Muslim Animal Beauty Contests?

I have no doubt that soon all animal beauty contests in Islam will be forbidden just as American style beauty contests are condemned and proscribed. I make fun of sexy animal contests in Islamic countries because they deserve to be ridiculed as should any religion that describes what to do with animals after you have had sex with them, read my article How to get a Muslim's goat - sex with animals. If Islam allowed men to appreciate female beauty they wouldn't be so frustrated and rape-happy.

If you enjoy Muslim Camel/Goat jokes read my post More Offensive Muslim Jokes, sample:

Q. What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats?
A. A pimp.

Here's what the crown to Miss Saudi Arabia looks like:

miss saudi arabia 2006
Photo Credit: Miss Saudi Arabia 2006

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