5 Stages of the Terror Cycle from Planck's Constant

Here are the 5 Stages of the Terror Cycle: Anger, back-patting, denial, surprise, and pontification.

I think I can save my fellow bloggers a lot of time by presenting them with a quick and easy form to fill out so that the next time we are attacked by Muslim terrorists they can quickly blog about it simply by selecting the appropriate choices in the following:

Anger

A car/bus/subway/train almost/violently exploded today in _______ (city). The President angrily denounced the attempt/attack and vowed that those who threaten the United States will be held accountable.

"Justice will be done, and we will continue to do everything in our power to protect the American people," President ________ said. "Sadly, there are those who would attack our citizens and who would slaughter innocent men, women and children in pursuit of their murderous agenda."

Federal agents/local police detectives/ arrested __________ (Insert Muslim name here), an /American-born/naturalized U.S. citizen/ of Pakistani/Palestinian/Libyan/Moroccan/Bangladeshi/Saudi/Somali/Egyptian/Lebanese/Syrian/Iraqi/Iranian/Afghani descent.

Back-patting

The /Attorney General/Secretary of Homeland Security/President/Governor/Mayor praised the efforts of the FBI/Local Police/Joint Terrorist Task Force agents/ saying that the investigation is "multifaceted, and it is aggressive. As we move forward, we will focus on not just holding those responsible for it accountable, but also on obtaining any intelligence about terrorist organizations overseas."

He/she also added that the system worked after the help of an alert strap-hanger/meter-maid/passenger/street vendor/passerby.

Interior Minister _________ of _________ (Muslim country) told Reuters/BBC/Fox News/ that they would "cooperate with the United States in bringing those responsible to justice."

Denial

Officials cautioned an investigation of possible international contacts did not mean a link to a known terrorist group was established. Although additional suspects are being sought, this could still be the work of a lone madman and not part of any other coordinated attacks elsewhere.

The /Attorney General/Secretary of Homeland Security/President/Governor/Mayor cautioned citizens not to blame this attack on any particular religion: "We don’t know all the answers yet and I would caution against jumping to conclusions until we have all the facts."

The killing/attempted attack/bombing by _______ (fill in Muslim name) has set people in America's one/two/four/eight/sixteen/ million strong Muslim community on edge, fearing a possible backlash against them.

The Council on American-Islamic Relations/The Muslim American Foundation/the Muslim Public Affairs Council/the American Islamic Congress/ called on the government to protect Muslims from a backlash: "We reject the idea that this incident is motivated by a terrorist ideology of a religious community.

"No political or religious ideology could ever justify or excuse such a wanton and indiscriminate attack. American Muslims stand with our fellow citizens against those who would harm this nation."

Surprise

Neighbors/friends/relatives/police/news-reporters expressed surprise/shock/incredulity that a seemingly moderate Muslim, educated, employed, married father/mother born/bred/living in the United States could be capable of such horrific evil toward innocent men, women and children.

Pontification

President _______ said, "as Americans, and as a nation, we will not be terrorized. We will not cower in fear. We will not be intimidated."

I should mention that if we continue to permit Muslims to enter the US then I have no doubt that one day we will need to add a 6th stage to the Terror Cycle: Begging.

Begging

President ________'s Address to the Nation:

In the name of God, ladies and gentlemen, allow me first to thank deeply Sheik Yer Buti, the Imam of North America, for affording me this opportunity to address you.

I come to you today asking for a truce. We all love this land, we all, Muslims, Crusader Christians and Zionist pigs, we all worship God.

The religious violence gripping this country cannot continue. I beg all Muslims to stop burning down churches, cease raping infidel women, and put a halt to the stoning of Christians and Jews.

After a time, as in Eurabia, when we are a Muslim-majority nation we will add the 7th and final stage to the Terror Cycle: Acceptance.