Anti-Muslim Jokes



My non-Muslim readers have asked for more anti-Muslim jokes, so to my Muslim readers I say, "If you are easily offended when I ridicule your religion, the Holy Qur'an, your beloved prophet or the greatest one who has no equivalent, Allah swt: then go somewhere else. There are millions of blogger idiots on the web who do not know that Mohammed (PBUH) was an ignorant, barbaric, lying, pedophilic bastard - go read their blogs. There is no shortage of bloggers who mistakenly assume that Islam is a beautiful religion rather than a savage, backward, intolerant political system bent on world subjugation - go read those blogs. You will only feel offended continuing here."

If your belief is pure and strong, you should not care what I write. If Allah knows best, He guides my writing for a good purpose.

I do not hate Muslims, however I do fear Islam. I present anti-Muslim jokes to ridicule Islam, the Qur'an, and Mohammed. I do so in the hope of helping those who do not realize that being a Muslim is exactly the same as being a Nazi. I fear that what is happening with the Islamization of Europe will happen here.

For example, in Austria when a right-wing politician denounced Islam she faced up to two years in prison for hate speech (1). If there were no Muslims in Austria, there would be no such law.

In Finland it is a criminal offense to publish what I write here [Finnish Penal code Rikoslaki/Strafflagen Chapter 11, section 8] (2). If there were no Muslims in Finland, that law would never have passed.

In Denmark it is a criminal offense to mock Islam [Danish Penal code, Straffeloven, section 266 B.].

In the Netherlands: in January 2009, a court in Amsterdam ordered the prosecution of Geert Wilders, a Dutch Member of Parliament, "for inciting hatred and discrimination, based on comments by him in various media on Muslims and their beliefs." Again, Muslims use infidel laws to silence any criticism of their religion.

We Can Still Offend People in the US

But as long as we still have freedom of speech in this country, we are the last repository in the world for Muslim jokes. I should mention that of all the Muslim visitors I get each week who condemn my jokes, jokes which kill no one except for a few readers who die laughing, not one saw fit to condemn revolutionmuslim.com which two weeks ago threatened everyone associated with South Park.

So while you Muslims get your tunics in a twist over harmless jokes, death threats do not seem to bother you. Fellow Muslims torturing, raping, burning, beheading, stoning, or hanging others evokes no anger against or contempt for the perpetrators, but Allah forbid if I write, "Mohammed walks into a bar..."

To my fellow infidels: enjoy while you are still able (some of the following I have collected from the Internet, some are my own):

Q. What do you call a Muslim with a slice of ham on his head?
A. Hamed.

Q. What about a Muslim with 2 slices of ham on his head?
A. Mohammed (PBUH).


Une femme musulmane à son arrivée à Mena, Arabie Saoudite
Photo Credit: SHADEED / REUTERS
Last week, a Muslim woman was seen shoplifting. She was caught on camera. Police are looking for a woman with dark eyes.

Q. How do you separate a Muslim man from a Muslim boy?
A. With a crowbar.

A Muslim woman was walking past this building site in Mecca when a group of Muslim builders shouted, "Show us your face."

An advertisement in a local UK paper: "4 Talibans required as mudflaps. Must be flexible and willing to travel."

Q. How do you save a drowning Jihadist?
A. You don't know? GOOD!

Arab scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the 7th century. They're calling it 'Islam'.

Here's a joke that sadly is quite true:

A Jewish man was riding on the subway reading a Middle East Arabic newspaper.

A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed and angrily called out, "Moshe, have you lost your mind?

"Why are you reading an Arabic newspaper?"

Moshe replied: "I used to read Jewish newspapers, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted worldwide , Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So I switched to the Arabic newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world.

"Ahhh... The Arabic news is so much better!".


Q. How do you address the most powerful Muslim in the world?
A. Mr. President.

Q. What is the Obama Administration's official term for Muslim terrorist?
A. The victim.

Q. What's the definition of a Muslim?
A. A person who does not believe infidels should have as much fun as they do.

Q. What is the current position of Homeland Security regarding terror?
A. If you see a terrorist about to blow himself up, go up to him and say, "Hey! Stop that."

Q. Why don’t Muslims have sex standing up?
A: Because they are afraid that people might think they were dancing.

Q. How do you break a Muslim's finger?
A. Hit his camel in the rump with a hammer.

Did you hear about the latest Muslim invention? It's a solar-powered flashlight.

Q. How did the Muslim mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on?
A. Fuse in the front!


Ahmed walked into the neighborhood mosque and a friend called out, "Hey, Ahmed, you idiot! You must pull down the shades when you are making sex with your wife. I could see everything last night!"

Ahmed put a big grin on his face: "Ha! The joke is on you. I wasn't even home last night!"







ENDNOTES


(1):

Monsters and Critics, 14 Jan 2008, Austrian authorities investigate Islam-bashing by rightist lawmaker

Vienna - Remarks by a right-wing politician denouncing Islam and accusing the Prophet Mohammed of having been a paedophile provoked widespread outrage in Austria on Monday, with authorities investigating whether they constituted hate speech.

Susanne Winter, a candidate for the Freedom Party in local elections in Graz in south-eastern Austria, said on Sunday that Mohammed's marriage to a 6-year-old girl would make the prophet a 'paedophile in today's system.'

Speaking at a rally, Winter demanded that Islam should be 'thrown back where it came from, beyond the Mediterranean Sea.'

Winter later justified her attacks. 'There is widespread child abuse by Muslim men,' she was quoted as saying by the newspaper Oesterreich.

'Why can't I say this? That has nothing to do with hate speech. We want neither Austrian nor foreign paedophiles. I did not want to incite hatred, or offend a religious community,' she said.

Austria's authorities were investigating whether Winter's remarks constituted incitement to hatred, a spokesman from the prosecutor's office said. If found guilty, Winter could face up to two years in prison.

She was ultimately convicted:

Gates of Vienna, Susanne Winter Found Guilty

Yesterday Susanne Winter was convicted of the charges against her and given a three-month suspended sentence plus a substantial fine. The news in German may be found here, and a brief report in English is available at Earth Times:


(2):

HELSINGIN SANOMAT, Court finds City Council member guilty of insulting religion

Jussi Halla-aho, an independent member of the Helsinki City Council elected to the council on the True Finns ticket, plans to appeal Tuesday’s decision by the Helsinki District Court, which convicted him of violating the sanctity of religion.



### End of my article ###

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