This is my 82nd post on Muslim Jokes. The reason I call them nasty is that they are intended to be spiteful and offensive. It happens that I find Islam to be nasty. And bad nasty as in vicious, offensive, and disgusting. So I use the weapon of derision to fight against it.

Here for the enjoyment of my infidel readers and to the annoyance of my Muslim readers are the following:

Q: What are the three greatest lies?
A:

1. I'm from the government, I'm here to help you.


2. The cheque is in the mail.


3. Islam is the religion of peace.

Q: What do you get if you cross a Muslim with a monkey?
A: Nothing, monkeys are too intelligent to have sex with Muslims.

Two Muslim men are sitting on a park bench when an 8-year-old walks past, and one turns to the other and says, "Wow, I bet she was hot in her day."

A few dozen Pakistanis died in London this morning. It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed! They are blaming it on al-Ikea.

A Pakistani arrives at the Pearly Gates of Heaven. St. Peter looks him up and down and says "What do YOU want?"

With a glowing smile the man says, "I'm here for Jesus..."

St. Peter pokes his head around the gates and shouts "JESUS, YOUR CAB'S HERE!"

Abdul's wife dies and he wants to put an obituary in the paper. He phones them and finds out its $1 for three words. He's only got a buck so he says "Just say, 'Fatima is Dead.'"

The people at the paper take pity on him and say he can have another three words for free, so he says, "Okay put 'Fatima is Dead - shop still open!'"

Q: What's the ugliest thing on a 6 year old Muslim girl?
A: Her husband.