Blogging Rule # 5 Or How To Get 1 Million Hits To Your Blog Without Really Trying from Planck's Constant

Charlize Theron Half Naked

If you don't know Rule 5 in regard to blogging: blogger Robert Stacy McCain in his article How to Get a Million Hits on Your Blog in Less Than a Year described it as putting up pictures of pretty women in various stages of undress in order to attract visitors to one's blog (1).

Of course it's even better if you can publish almost nude images of attractive female celebrities such as the photo here of a half-naked Charlize Theron. Charlize can do 50 shades of gold on me anytime.

When I first started blogging six years ago I wrote:

Planck's Constant, 16 Jan 2006, What's This Blog All About?
Welcome to my blog. I will be writing about the same things that interest me in real life: ... the threat of Islam to Western Civilization ... beautiful women, reviews of entertainment, exposing of hoaxes, how to boil eggs ...

Indeed, only two days into blogging and I posted a boobilicious article on Britney Spears. Since then about 10% of my articles have women en deshabille as the main subject.

So did I get a million hits from Rule 5? Actually, it's closer to 3.2 million (out of almost 9 million hits on all subjects to date). However there is a caveat. Simply publishing 200 articles displaying semi-nude women by itself did not garner me over 3 million hits. My other 2400 cogently written articles on Islam, advice, humor, health, law, drugs, Africa, Obama, and hundreds of other topics helped my blog earn search engine karma. If you check my sidebar you'll see that much of my traffic comes from numerous search sites.

However the topic that receives the most traffic is Muslim Jokes (over 80 articles). Take for example my article Muslim Humor - Muslim Jokes - it has received more than 1200 comments, making it one of my most commented upon of articles.

Robert Stacy McCain wrote that because the subtitle of his book is "Sex, Crime, and Corruption in the Democratic Party," he was getting traffic from people Googling "donkey+sex."

I likewise had a similar experience: I wrote an article entitled "How to get a Muslim`s goat - sex with animals," which immediately became the top result in most search engines for any combination of the words goat, sex and Muslim. That article alone has received more than 50,000 hits since its publication.

I suppose I could add a Rule 6 to help one get hits: make fun of Muslims, especially of Muslims having sex with goats.

ENDNOTES

(1):

The Other McCain, 15 Feb 2009, How to Get a Million Hits on Your Blog in Less Than a Year

5. Christina Hendricks

Or Anne Hathaway or Natalie Portman or Sarah Palin bikini pics. Rule 5 actually combines four separate principles of blogospheric success:

A. Everybody loves a pretty girl -- It's not just guys who enjoy staring at pictures of hotties. If you've ever picked up Cosmo or Glamour, you realize that chicks enjoy looking at pretty girls, too. (NTTAWWT.) Maybe it's the vicious catty she-thinks-she's-all-that factor, or the schadenfreude of watching a human trainwreck like Britney Spears, but no one can argue that celebrity babes generate traffic. Over at Conservative Grapevine, the most popular links are always the bikini pictures. And try as I might to make "logical arguments" for tax cuts, wouldn't you rather watch Michelle Lee Muccio make those arguments?

B. Mind the MEGO factor -- All politics all the time gets boring after a while. Observant readers will notice that the headlines at Hot Air often feature silly celebrity tabloid stuff and News Of The Weird. Even a stone political junkie cannot subsist on a 24/7 diet of politics. The occasional joke, the occasional hot babe, the occasional joke about a hot babe -- it's a safety valve to make sure we don't become humorless right-wing clones of those Democratic Underground moonbats.

C. Sex sells -- Back when I was blogging to promote Donkey Cons (BUY TWO!), I accidentally discovered something via SiteMeter: Because the subtitle of the book is "Sex, Crime, and Corruption in the Democratic Party," we were getting traffic from people Googling "donkey+sex." You'd be surprised at the keyword combinations that bring traffic to a political blogger who understands this. Human nature being what it is, the lowest common denominator is always there, even if it's sublimated or reverse-projected as puritanical indignation, which brings us to . . .

D. Feminism sucks -- You can never go wrong in the blogosphere by having a laugh at the expense of feminists. All sane people hate feminism, and no one hates feminism more than smart, successful, independent women who've made it on their own without all that idiotic "Sisterhood Is Powerful" groupthink crap. And if you are one of those fanatical weirdos who takes that Women's Studies stuff so seriously that you're offended by Stephen Green's sexist objectification of Christina Hendricks and her mighty bosom -- well, sweetheart, to paraphrase Rhett Butler: "You should be offended, and often, and by someone who knows how."