I get a tent-load of emails telling me to stop ragging on Muslims and get a life and, for the sake of Allah, do something constructive in life.

Well, it happens that I do write constructive articles; quite a number of posts in fact on making life better - here are a few examples: The Worst Mega Millions Winning Strategies,
Going Through a Yellow Light is Safer than Stopping for It,
Never Shop Without a Calculator,
Should I Buy Gold Stocks,
The Best Way to Make Perfect Bacon,
Never Cosign a Loan,
The Correct Way to Eat Cereal,
How to Make the Perfect Hardboiled Egg
and hundreds of other articles of advice.

So for today I would like to offer the following pithy health tip gathered from the Internet:

If you can't afford a doctor, go to an airport - you'll get a free x-ray and a breast exam, and; if you mention al Qaeda, you'll get a free colonoscopy.