Ask the Vizier - Is Sex Better with Sheep?

By Bernie on 12 Feb 2013

Muslim Love Sheep

I am often asked difficult questions by my Muslim readers that can best be answered when I take on the persona of the Grand Vizier.

Today the following query was posed to Ask the Vizier (℠): "Is Sex Better with Sheep?"

Answer. Praise be to Allaah:

There are two ways to answer this question:

  1. If you are unmarried, there is no choice for you other than sheep. Sex with a woman, unless she is a female slave or domestic servant which you possess, is haraam, and you will be guilty of the sin of zina (fornication, adultery).

    If a sheep is not handy, do not insert nearby objects, such as weapons or explosives, into your anus for sexual pleasure as this may cause severe injury should you become distracted.

  2. If you are married, yes indeed, sex with a sheep is much better than with your wife for the following reasons:
    1. Sheep are always in the mood,

    2. never have a headache,

    3. they will never spray your face with mace, and here is the good part:

    4. when you're done with them, you can eat them.

Addendum: Reader jFp commented that shagged sheep cannot be eaten. That is true - in my article How to get a Muslim`s goat - sex with animals, I noted that according to the Ayatollah Khomeini: "If one commits an act of sodomy with a cow, a ewe, or a camel, their urine and their excrements become impure, and even their milk may no longer be consumed. The animal must then be killed as quickly as possible and burned, and the price of it paid to its owner by him who sodomized it."

However, there are also quite a number of hadiths that do not allow the sodomizer to pay with money, saying, "Whoever you find having sex with an animal, kill him and kill the animal with him."

This has been question number 8 in my series Ask the Vizier (?):

The Grand Vizier
Photo Credit: Anno 1404 Wiki


The Vizier answers issues pertaining to Shariah which came down directly from Allâh. These questions and answers are placed in public view on Planck's Constant for educational purposes. Many of these answers are unique to a particular situation and cannot be taken as a basis for a ruling in another situation. Ask the Vizier (℠) bears no responsibility with regards to these questions being used out of their intended context or to any party who may or may not act on this answer. The Vizier is hereby exempted from loss or damage howsoever caused.

This answer may not be used as evidence in any Court of Law without prior written consent of the Vizier.

Anyone may republish this article for non-commercial use without asking my permission. I make it easy, see details here.

Related Posts with Thumbnails
If this is your first time here, please read my Comment Policy HERE.

comments powered by Disqus



Email Me

FAQ/About Me


Site Policies


My Articles in Danish

Follow Me:

Special Offer For My Muslim Readers: Please subscribe to Planck's Constant Blog. We guarantee a 100% increase in your intelligence.

subscribe to my Feedvia RSS Feed

subscribe to comment Feedvia my Comments Feed

Visit my Pinterest pagevia my Pinterest Feed


Shameless Advertising

This is what Bernie is Reading Now

For Previous Books Click Here.

Buttons & Widgets

Older Buttons

View My Stats

Blogs That Link to Me:

A collection of things...
Always on Watch
Americans Stand with Israel
Animal Magnetism
Apropos of Nothing
Bare Naked Islam
Basil’s Blog
Blazing Cat Fur
Blogging for a free world
Celestial Offerings
Cmblake6's Weblog
Commonsense & Wonder
Conservative Thoughts
Cosmic Cogitations
Cristy Li
Daily Blasphemies
David Drake
DragonLady’s World
Elder of Ziyon
Empyreum Cœlum
Fausta’s Blog
Fiery Spirited Zionist
Gates of Vienna
Gummihund/ Rubberdog and a proud Orangutan
Hard to Swallow
Hodjanernes Blog
Infidel Bloggers Alliance
Intergalactic Source of Truth
Iron Burka
Israel Matzav
Jewish Preppers
Leather Penguin
Maggie’s Notebook
MFS - The Other News
Monkey in the Middle
My Gripes of Wrath
My Newz 'n Ideas
News on the March
Nicholas Hunter Folkes
No Apology
nothing to laugh at
Oswald Bastable’s Ranting
Outside the Camp
Perigo Islâmico (In Portuguese)
Pirate's Cove
pislamonausea Central
Project 2,996
Prune Juice Media
Ramrock's Blog (In Spanish)
Right Nation
Right Pundits
Right Truth
Rosemary’s Thoughts
Sherryx’s Weblog
Silicon Valley Redneck
Simply Jews
Smooth Stone
So Far, So Good ...So What!
Squid Thoughts
Stop Islamic Conquest
Sunday Morning Coffee
Tales of a Wandering Mind
The Amboy Times
The Astute Bloggers
The Christian Defender
The Infidel Task Force
The Lunatic's Asylum
The Mindset
The Old Curmudgeon
The Political Commentator
The Right Nation
The Sandman
The Sassy Tn’T PoLITicallY InCorrect
The Tao of Torah and Rebbi Nachman.
The Unreligious Right
Theo Spark
Third World County
Thoughts From A Seared Conscience
Thunder Pig
usa stands with israel
Veritas Universalis
Western Civilization and Culture
wine women and transcendence
Working the Web
Xanthippa's Chamberpot
Zilla of the Resistance