Islamic Jokes - Muslim Jokes - Middle East Jokes

9/11 jokes are plane wrong
Photo Credit: quickmeme

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself, "I'm going to take that." And so starts my 109th article of Muslim Jokes.

Ahmed was having his afternoon tea at the cafe when he turned to the waiter and lamented, "I was married three times and I'll never marry again. My first two wives died of eating poison mushrooms and my third wife died of a fractured skull."

"That's a shame." said the waiter, "How did it happen?"

"She wouldn't eat the mushrooms!"

Q: What's the first thing a girl from Dubai says after she loses her virginity?
A: Get off me Abu (daddy), you're crushing my lollipop.

Famous Quote from Saddam Hussein: "It's not that I've gone off sex as I've got older,It's just a lot harder to catch them damn camels!"

Q: What is a white collar crime to Muslims?
A: When they murder priests.

Abdul and Mahmud are walking down the road when they see a little boy with his head stuck in the bars of a fence. Abdul pulls the boy's shorts down and copulates him senseless; then he turns to Mahmud and says "your turn" to which Mahmud complains, "I don't think my head will fit through the bars."

Q: What do you call a building full of Muslims?
A: Jail.

A lone gunman has been going around London shooting Muslims.
They are calling him the Turbanator.

Message to Muslims: If you can't eat the swine, don't do the crime.

A London man put out a British flag outside his home but wasn't sure if it would offend Muslims. So he put "Mohammed is Shit" on it just to make sure.

Of course Muslims don't eat pigs. That would be cannibalism.

I was sitting at a red-light yesterday, minding my own business, waiting on it to turn green.

A carload of young, loud Muslims, shouting anti British-American slogans, stopped next to me.

The light changed, the Muslims shook their fists, gave me the finger, hit the gas and darted off ahead of me.

Suddenly an 18-wheeler came speeding thru the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely.

For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "Man, that could have been me!"

So, today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.

### End of my article ###

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