Hu`s on First

There's nothing more important than the ability to laugh at ourselves. Although I am an atheist, I say thank god that George Bush was President in 2001. If we had had Al Gore, we would have apologized for putting the WTC buildings in the way of those airplanes and paid compensation to the widows of those poor followers of Mohammed killed by our negligence. So here is my entry for Bush humor.

rice-bushWe take you now to the Oval Office.)

George Bush: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi Rice: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinese!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

Secretary Rice and Chinese President Hu Jintao meet at Xinjiang Hall, the Great Hall of People. China was the sixth stop on Secretary Rice's trip to Asia. AP/Wide World Photo.George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan have discussed UN reforms in New YorkGeorge: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?


james sherman playwright

Tip of the turban Hat Tip to the author, Playwright James Sherman, who wrote this [Nov 2002] after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.

Sherman, James "Hu's on First"
Theater - Volume 33, Number 1, Winter 2003, pp. vi-vi

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