Muslim Cruises and Islamic Travel

hijab Muslim woman with child at beach
Muslim lady with child
Photo: Sheila Smart

I have written a number of posts insisting that if Islam took over the world it would be the end of civilized life. I've gotten a number of emails accusing me of being racist. The term is misused since I did not single out any particular race but rather a faux religion, so they should have called me Islamophobic, which, of course, is completely justified. None of the emails dispute the fact that Muslims will not tolerate any deviation from their practices.

For example, when I was in Disney World's Typhoon Lagoon two years ago, I saw numerous Muslim women covered from head to toe soaking their feet in the water. Nowhere in this Christian world will you find someone throwing rocks at Muslim women because they refuse to show some skin.

But be honest now: what do you think would happen if a normal, modest, young American woman showed up at a Muslim beach clad in your average bikini. Here's a video showing what would happen, but only look if you can take primitive barbarism, unbridled brutality, uncivilized cruelty and unimaginable evil. Click here if you have the stomach to watch human beings being stoned to death. [See disclaimer below]

A world filled with Christians and Jews allows for art, entertainment, scientific advances, and even travel. The only time Muslims travel is when they are piloting planes they do not know how to land, driving trucks they do not know how to back up, driving cars they do not expect to ride back home, or steering boats they never expect to bring dockside. Don't believe me? I'm being extreme?

OK, being the googler that I am, I wondered to myself that perhaps I am wrong. Maybe there are loads of Muslim travel opportunities aside from those that result in death and destruction. So first I put in "singles cruises" for which I get 472,000 results. Then I get 34,300 for "Christian Cruises". Since there are 62 times fewer Jews in the world one would expect a proportionate 553 listings for "Jewish Cruises" but there are in fact 1,700 results.

Since there are about 10% fewer Muslims than Christians in the world (25% vs 28% of the world) we should expect to see 30,625 google listings for "Muslim Cruises". The actual number? 5. If you eliminate the one porn site and the 4 other spam blogs you're left with zero listings. ZERO! Remember zero? This is one of those alleged Muslim contributions to civilization. Well if so, now we know why. So they can answer the following questions:

How many Muslim Cruises are available for Muslims? ZERO! [But see this 2012 Update article]

How many Muslims showed up for a Muslim only theme park outing? ZERO!

When the Wall Street Journal announced its Technology Innovation Winners for 2004 and First prize went to a US company, second and third prizes went to Israel; how many Arab countries came in 4th, 10th or even last? ZERO!

How many Muslim countries COMBINED in their entire recorded history had more patents than the single state of UTAH had in 2005 alone? ZERO!

Let me state that last one over again. The citizens of Utah in 2005 alone were granted more patents in that one year than all the Muslim countries combined during recorded history. So when someone begins to talk about the contribution of Islam to the modern world, try not to gag.

Now I know that there are some attempts to give the appearance that Islam can be part of the modern world like this Muslim version of the bikini, but it falls short. Even when they had the first Islamic Fashion show ever, they only made themselves look like tent dwellers from 632 A.D. The women looked like horrible, fat sacks of potatoes; and I'm trying to be kind here. Perhaps if they removed some of their explosive belts they would look thinner.

So, in order to try to gain some support for Muslim travel venues, I am taking it upon myself to start up the world's first Islamic Cruise Party. Here are some of the itinerary:

  • Day One: Travel down the Tigris and Euphrates on Saddam Hussein's largest personal yacht. We start at the scenic and colorful city of Baghdad. As we stare out of the gun-ports you will notice that each cabin is equipped with a gay assortment of rocket-propelled grenades, AK-47's, and laser scopes for your viewing pleasure. Although none of the cabins have showers, this should not be any inconvenience to our guests, after all who wants to waste water?
  • Day Two: We gracefully pass the touristy cities of Basrah and Umm Qasr. We ask that you kindly place your mattresses against the windows at this time to avoid letting in smoke from the burning oil fields.
  • Day Three: We land in Dubai where we can buy alcohol, but please remember this is only for the purpose of Molotov cocktails. Anyone found drinking alcohol will be stoned.
  • Day Four: The Persian Gulf. Since we do not allow drinking, gambling or whoring around (at least not on board), you may enjoy yourself with some of the on-board games such as pin the tail on the Zionist Monkey, or plant the dirty bomb in the American City. Those of you who purchased an immigrant slave in Dubai may at this time abuse him or her as the case may be. If any of them die, be advised that you should not dispose of them in the Persian Gulf. Please wait until we reach the vacation city of Gaza in the filthy Jew-occupied State of Palestine. The Palestinian Authority pays 100 dollars for each body that you deliver. Young children's tortured and burned carcasses are a premium but they must be photogenic. You must sign photo releases to Reuters.
  • Day Five: We quickly pass through Gaza. Unfortunately our Muslim brothers are shooting at everyone. Fatah, Hamas, Zionists, Christians, no one is safe. Grab your 100 bucks and leave.
  • Day Six: Lebanon. Here we have a great costume party event. Everyone dresses up as Israeli occupying forces and we plunder museums, destroy mosques, shoot at residential apartments, throw bombs at schools all the while yelling, "we are Zionist pigs with the help of the Great Satan America." It is reminded of all passengers that each Muslim life you take is sent directly to heaven because they died in the cause of Jihad. They are Martyrs for Allah!
  • Day Last: Unfortunately, those of you who are Shia will be tortured and killed. Did you really think your evil against our Sunni relatives would not be avenged? Your bodies will be fuel for the trip back. Thank you for choosing Planck's Islamic Cruise.


The Dinocrat, 18 Feb 2006, Invention, innovation, technology and Islam

But what would it be like to live in a land where people invented nothing, where technology came to you as though from Mars? More than this: what if that constant progress and tinkering represented a threat to the sufficiency of the founding documents of your culture and religion? Judging by the numbers, that is apparently the current state of thought in some major Islamic countries. Take Saudi Arabia, which recently went six years without granting a patent.

Naked Muslim Slaves
Photo Credit: Boing Boing


It happens that I am opposed to the death penalty. I believe that it panders to the worst of human nature, does not deter crime, snags innocent people and is worthy only of Islamic tyranny. Only the most brutal of countries in the world enjoy the death penalty. North Korea, China, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Viet Nam, and a handful of mostly Muslim nations. Is this the company we want to be in? That said, I would prefer to be falsely accused of a capital crime in America than of a minor misdemeanor in Saudi Arabia.

I don't want to give the impression that Muslims will never allow naked bodies to be displayed. Here for example from the cruise above are naked slaves being washed down before boarding the luxurious yacht. Click on photo for larger view but caution, NSFW.

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