Last week, Iran announced the invention of an earth-shattering product that civilized countries have had for decades:
Fars News Agency,
5 Aug 2007,
Iranian Invents Camera for Blind
Mahvash Sepehr told FNA that the camera works with color waves and their reactions and it can determine the distance automatically.
"Using this camera, blind people can recognize the distance and position of the subject, " she said, adding that she has also invented special tanks for the blind to develop their negatives.
"Once the film is developed, the tank starts ringing to warn the blind person that it is time to bring the negative out of the liquid," the Iranian inventor concluded.
I know what you are thinking: film developer timers already exist and who the hell wants to develop old style film and many American cameras already have auto-focus and why would blind people want to take photographs for anyway?
But I say why be negative (no pun intended). Considering that Muslims like to poke out or drill the eyes of those they dislike, this might be a handy invention. Perhaps it's even mandatory for taking naked photos of women while you are blindfolded, although I should try to get a fatwah on the matter from "Ask an Imam."
In a feeble attempt to outdo the Iranians, Israel yesterday announced a useless discovery on the mechanism that spreads cancer:
Israel National News,
14 Aug 2007,
Weizmann Researchers Identify Mechanism Behind Spread of Cancer
A team of researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science in Rechovot has revealed new details about the mechanism by which cancerous cells migrate through the body. Such migration, called metastasis, is the leading cause of death among cancer patients.
The recently published results of this collaboration add significantly to the understanding of metastasis and may aid, in the future, in the development of anti-cancer drugs.
Who the hell needs a cure for cancer when blind people can now take photos they can't look at anyway?