Muslim Pickup Lines

Muslim Dating

The following Muslim Pickup lines are for my many readers of the Muslim persuasion. Although I would like to persuade them to change to some other religion, I realize that many of them are stuck being Muslim and cannot change for fear of death.

Muslim countries do not allow Muslims to convert to another religion, which of course explains why Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world (however read this). Once a child is born to Muslim parents, by Shariah law he must remain Muslim the rest of his life. As Muslims gain in population in various kuffr (infidel) nations, they strive to establish Shariah in their newly adopted host countries.

Incredibly, forty percent of British Muslims aged 16 to 24 living in the UK said they would prefer to live under Sharia law [read my article Honor Killings in Islam - When you have nothing else in your life]. Imagine that: young Muslims who grew up under freedoms their parents never enjoyed in their home countries, do not want to live under British law. They want to live like primitive, savage barbarians from the 7th century A.D..

But I digress. Blogger Sand Monkey listed some of these Muslim pick-up lines a few years ago. I have since scoured the Internet and in addition to a few others that I've found, I have added a few of my own. So here you go, Ahmed, enjoy:

Translations in brackets [] are for the benefit of non-Arabic speaking readers.

Excuse me does this smell like chloroform to you?

Do you work for al-qaeda? because you've just abducted my heart.

I didn't trip over my robe, I fell for you.

I must be a Saudi Prince - one look at you and I have a gusher in my pants.

I promise you the tent of your dreams.

Jihad at me at 'hello.'

Nice ankles. Very nice.

When you bend over - you remind me of my sister.

That hijab really compliments your eyes.

Your father must be a terrorist, because you're da bomb!

You must be the Buraq, because I wanna ride you all the way to heaven.

It will be hard to beat anyone more beautiful than you - and I mean beat literally.

Want to come to my apartment and be whipped into a frenzy? and I mean whipped literally.

I'm the guy you've been praying five times a day for.

I'm not staring, I'm just enjoying my first and only allowed look.

[Guy looks under girl's hijab]: "Sorry, I was looking for the made-in-jannah [heaven] tag."

I must have died a shaheed [martyr] and gone to heaven because you are my 72 virgins all in one.

Are you a shiite? Because when I saw you, I said to myself, "Shiite, this girl is fine."

So what time does a huri [heavenly companion] like you have to be back in paradise?

Do you wanna date? I bought a box full when I went to Medina.

I know what you are thinking" "Is that a bomb in his pocket or is he just happy to see me?"

My goat died, so I'm available.

Oh my gosh! I just saw part of your hair, now you have to marry me.

Our parents engaged us when we were little, they must have forgotten to tell you.

So, read any good surahs [verses in the Qur'an] lately?

That's a nice burqa. Can I talk you out of it?

Disclaimer: By posting these pickup lines I am not suggesting that Muslims actually try to use them to pickup women. Indeed, I am opposed to Muslims meeting women altogether. These are jokes. It is haram for you to even try to meet women without prior arrangement by your parents. But you know that.

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