Photo Credit: FUN UNLIMITED
When I started blogging in 2006 there were very few Muslim jokes of any kind on the Internet and as for truly offensive Muslim jokes there were none at all. I attempted to rectify this scarcity by collecting the few that did exist while adding as many new ones that I could by adapting other ethnic humor and converting them into appropriate Muslim ones.
For example, regarding Muslims having sex with camels and goats I found some hillbilly and redneck humor about sex with sheep and horses and modified them to reflect what I thought would be funny if the subject were Muslims instead. That is to say, many of my jokes were originally offensive to some other group of people.
I even took anti-Jewish jokes and changed them into anti-Muslim jokes.
So if any of my Muslim readers are offended, I say suck it up, other groups were offended way before you were.
In many cases I made up brand new, never-heard before Muslim jokes of my own. Because I was the first Muslim jokester and also due to the more than five dozen entries in my Muslim Jokes archives, Google, Yahoo, Bing and most other search engines bring up my two main posts, Muslim Humor - Muslim Jokes and More Offensive Muslim Jokes, as the top results when you search for the phrase Muslim Jokes.
No group in the world should be immune from mockery and derision, especially Muslims who believe their religion grants them supremacy over non-Muslims and that they, their religion, their Prophet, and their culture are exempt from ridicule.
So without further delay, here are some truly gross Muslim jokes with the photo above suggesting our first entry:
Q: What do you have when an Egyptian Muslim is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: A car full of Pakistanis and a car full of Somalis are racing down a hill. They both fall off a cliff at the same time, who wins?
Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time?
A: Hit an Ethiopian Muslim in the face with a frying pan.
Q: What do Muslim men think is the best thing about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?
A: There's 20 of them.
Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a Muslim?
A: You should take your shoes off before jumping on a trampoline.
A cop in London stops a Muslim leading a cow down the street. He asks "What are you doing with a cow in the middle of town?"
The Muslim says, "I am taking it home to keep it in my house."
The copper asks, "What about all the flies, the shit and the stink?"
The Muslim thinks a moment and replies, "The cow will just have to get used to it."
A Muslim man goes into a drugstore and says to the druggist, "I need some birth control for my eleven-year-old daughter."
"Is your little girl sexually active?" asks the druggist.
"Nah, she just lays there like her mother."
Q: Why do Pakis smell?
A: So blind people can hate them too.
Ahmed goes up to his friend Mahmud and asks, "What's black, blue and yellow and doesn't like sex very much?"
Mahmud shakes his head and says, "I give up - what?"
Ahmed answers, "The 6 year old Chinese girl in the trunk of my car."
Q: What's wrong with 15 Pakis on a bus at the bottom of a pond?
A: The bus has 16 seats.
Q. Why should they use Muslims instead of laboratory rats in experiments?
A. Muslims breed faster and you won't get so attached to them.
Caption for photo above:
Mohmmed Emad, 41, lies buried neck-deep in the sand in the El Dakrror mountain area at Siwa Oasis, The people in Siwa believe that being buried in the sand during the hottest time of the day is a therapeutic treatment which can cure rheumatism, joint pain and sexual impotency.