Last year I came across an article from the website TakePart showcasing 9 Vintage Ads That Will Make You Cringe which inspired today's Thursday 13 post [my 95th]. When I was a child, doctors on TV smoked cigarettes, mothers drank beer, infants drank Coke, and wives were barefoot and pregnant and spanked when they needed it.
So here I present 13 advertisements that didn't make us cringe in the old days but would be problematic to be in print today (click on any panel for larger view):
- No more tears at bedtime because dads always lube. A bit pedo-creepy for modern sensibilities, eh?
- "Motorola shows how TV can mean better behavior at home and better marks in school!" Well, the fact that this country re-elected an incompetent moron to run this country shows that all those decades of TV watching certainly didn't produce enough intelligent people.
- The only time I would send a carton of smokes to someone for Christmas would be to my enemies to make sure they would die a horrible and painful early death.
- Is there anything more adorable and beautiful than a wife who has spent the day working hard to keep the house dusted and clean?
- More doctors smoke Camels than any other brand. I suppose those same doctors today cannot walk a mile for a Camel because they now have emphysema.
- There's nothing Santa likes better than lighting up a smoke after downing some cookies and milk.
- Cocaine drops for 15 cents in 2013 dollars is about $10 bucks per tin (based on ~ $19 per ounce price of gold back in 1885); hardly enough for drug dealers to get involved.
- "The malt in the beer supplies nourishing qualities that are essential at this time." I have no doubt there was less Postpartum depression after tossing down a few of these.
- Let's ignore the "waking up gay" part, the assertion that Ovaltine will "re-build worn out body and nerve cells," certainly wouldn't pass FTC standards today.
- The Coca Cola people people inform us: "For a better start in life start cola earlier!" and "Laboratory tests over the last few years have proven that babies who start drinking soda during the early formative period have a higher chance of gaining acceptance and 'fitting in' during those awkward pre-teen and teen years." Oh really?
- "You sit there, eyes glued to the writhing, arcade-quality graphics, pulling and squeezing your knob. Now you're breathing heavily over the digital sterao sound. Now you're shooting all over the place..."
Hey, we are talking about a game controller, right?
- Yes, I always spank my wife if she buys flat, stale coffee.
- I just can't say anything about this ad.
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