Every holiday season I make a terrific tasting turkey - never dry, or overcooked, or unevenly roasted - and which usually earns me hearty approbations such as "You're a great cook," or "You should be a professional cook." Sadly making someone a Christian, Jew or Muslim is not as easy as making someone a cook by simply following my instructions on how to make a perfect turkey.

No, it's not that easy. For example, to make a Christian, a good Christian, requires instilling in the person a true compassion, love and mercy for his fellow man, that is, the qualities ascribed to Jesus.

Likewise, to make a Jew, a good Jew, requires instilling in the person a true desire to be a light unto the nations, that is, by his actions, a Jew is a person chosen by the almighty to make this world holy, good, and Godly.

And similarly, to make a Muslim, a good Muslim, requires the creation of someone who submits to being a willing slave to savage and barbarous Quranic injunctions that over-ride one's normal devotion to, and love of, family. A good Muslim must be willing to torture and even kill his precious children should they fail to follow the rules of his faith. Someone who through his submission to Islam (and that is the definition of the word Muslim, one who submits) would sacrifice his life as well as the lives of innocent women and children, as long as it furthers the cause of making the world only for Allah.

So how can we make such an abomination? What complicated, esoteric, convoluted and bestial process would we have to undertake to create such an uncivilized, unthinking, uncaring, unfeeling and depraved turd of animal?