More iProducts from Apple



ibreast

Apple Computers announced recently that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants.

The iBreast will cost $599 and at 90GB will have capacity to store, organize and play 22,500 songs.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough, because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Thanks to Apple, everyone is now happy.

This announcement has been circulating the Internet for a while and I bring it to your attention today because I received another email hoax about women's breasts: namely that Ogling Women's Breasts Makes Men Live Longer. Although I mention that this is a hoax, this does not mean that the statement is in fact false, merely that no studies have yet been able to prove the assertion. Most married men of course hope that one day it is proven to be true. In this manner when we are surfing the net and looking at beautiful women we can truthfully say we are simply engaging in healthy exercise.

But just as the Internet is handy for sprouting rumors, it also makes it quite simple to debunk them along with other shams, scams, and flim-flams. I remember back in 1960 trying to convince high school girls that fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women.

Curiously, this same hoax is still going around although with a lot more seemingly convincing detail:

About.com,
Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women

(AP) -- Women who perform the act of fellatio on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found.

Doctors had never suspected a link between the act of fellatio and breast cancer, but new research being performed at North Carolina State University is starting to suggest that there could be an important link between the two.

In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular fellatio over the past ten years, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurrence of breast cancer than those who had not.




Before you blow off this report, you should be aware that on a recent segment of Oprah (yes - I watch it ocassionally) I heard Dr. Oz give the latest health advice: if you want to be in the best of health have sex 200 or more times a year! That's what I'm talking about. When I heard that I turned to my wife and asked her, "Where the hell am I supposed to find 200 women a year?" Now my wife has a great sense of humor so she told me that when I'm sleeping she'll make sure that when she cuts off my penis she'll leave enough of a stub that I'll still be able to point to pee. Oh my sweet wife, such a kidder!

On the off-chance that ogling women's breasts does indeed make men live longer, then my array of articles on Scarlett Johansson may in fact be viewed as a public service.

I will be in Las Vegas from May 24th to the 28th so hopefully I will get some healthful exercise while there. But never fear, I will still post daily.



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