Because that is how my parents did it

By Bernie on 20 Aug 2007

If you ever want to give a stupid reason for doing something, say "Because that is how my parents did it."

I bring this up because I was recently asked by a young woman for advice on buying a crib for a baby she and her husband are expecting. Well, I thought that was a barbaric practice and so I asked her why she didn't want the baby in bed with her, the natural way, as most of the world does it.

She gave me the stupid reason: that's how her parents did it.

I told her that her parents were idiots, nothing personal, but the safest way for a baby to sleep is in bed with her mother and father. A child is 50 to 60 times more likely to die in a crib than in a bed with its parents (1).

But, she protests, "I read that it is dangerous for a baby to sleep in bed with its parents..."

Yes, that smear campaign (2) is co-sponsored by the Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association. And who are they? Crib manufacturers.

By the way, if you want your baby to suffocate, buy a crib like the one shown above.

Putting aside for a moment the safety issues, what is most important is the contact between mother and child.

Here is a short list from The Compleat Mother:

  • Babies sleep better because they feel safe and secure next to their mother, because they are more relaxed, and because their needs are met more quickly

  • Mothers sleep better because the baby cries less, nursing is easier, and the baby goes to sleep faster and easier (allowing mother to get more sleep)

  • Bonding between parents and child improves significantly (especially important for parents who work and do not get to spend much time with their baby during the day)

  • Children who share sleep with their parents generally have a healthier attitude towards sleep and may experience fewer sleep disorders in the future

  • Sharing sleep with your baby may also help your him/her become more self-confident and independent (contrary to what many people think).

It's been estimated that about 50% or more of parents in America sleep with their children and yet only about 50 children die in that situation. Interestingly, The crib manufacturers do admit that almost as many babies suffocate or strangle when they become trapped between broken crib parts (3). But this number of deaths has nothing to do with the thousands of cases SIDS deaths that occur in cribs.

So if you want your child to sleep in a crib or in another room, don't give me some stupid reason, tell me the truth, you are a heartless, uncaring bitch who doesn't want to be bothered by crying babies and shouldn't be having children anyway.

FYI: My two sons slept in our bed until they were ten years old.




... in most countries around the world sleeping with your baby is the norm, not the exception. And what is the incidence of SIDS in these countries? During the 1990s, in Japan the rate was only one tenth of the U.S. rate, and in Hong Kong, it was only 3% of the U.S. rate.


If the incidence of SIDS is dramatically higher in crib versus a parent's bed, and because the cases of accidental smothering and entrapment are only 1.5% of the total SIDS cases, then sleeping with a baby in your bed would be far safer than putting baby in a crib.


The Compleat Mother,
Family Bed Under Attack

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) and the Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association (JPMA) is launching a mass-media national campaign aimed at "reducing deaths associated with placing babies in adult beds." The campaign will include a video news release that will be fed to stations nationwide along with pamphlets and posters distributed through retailers, hospitals, health departments and various grass roots organizations.

Numerous studies and research have proven the family bed to be a safe and beneficial sleeping arrangement. Don't let these organizations frighten other parents with misleading data.


Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association, Full-Size Cribs

This first “home” should be cheerful and secure. Each year, approximately 50 babies suffocate or strangle when they become trapped between broken crib parts or in cribs with older, unsafe designs. Many older cribs do not meet all current safety standards. Even if you are on a tight budget, you should not purchase an old crib at a garage sale or accept a hand me down.

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