How to please your wife with common garden tools
By Bernie on 29 Oct 2007
A few years ago my wife and older son were shopping in SunCoast (a video store that's no longer at the Newport Mall in Jersey City) when I mentioned that sales help in most of these malls are, to be frank, quite stupid. I was thinking about the high property taxes in New Jersey due to education costs and how little we get back in return for the huge investment.
My wife said she didn't think all the help were dumb so I told her to point to any young salesperson and to follow me. She pointed at a girl who was not working the cash register and so I went up to her and asked (with a straight face), "Excuse me, but do you have the self-help video, 'How to Please your Wife with Common Garden Tools'?" Without thinking or parsing the sentence in her head she said, "I don't know, let me check." She looked in a notebook (why SunCoast didnt have everything in inventory on computer, I'll never understand) and sadly told me they didn't carry that title but would I like to order it.
I told her that I couldn't wait for an order because my wife and I wanted to try the video out that night, so I asked her if they had another video in the series, "How to Please your Wife with Kitchen Utensils." After noting that the store didn't carry that title either, she walked me over to the self-help section that had videos on how to cook, make furniture, and do Yoga, those kinds of things (at least she knew it was a how-to book from the title) and asked if there was anything there that might be a good substitute. I suppose that's what SunCoast taught her to do, if they don't have a video in stock see if there's something else of interest.
I should mention that when I started talking to this young lady, my wife and son had to do a quick about face and leave the store because they were afraid of bursting out laughing.
I blame the politicians for this mess. Every city in America should long ago have gone the route of vouchers so that we can get away from the public school system altogether. How long do we have to wait before we admit that our present educational system is a farce, that no one is learning anything?
I don't blame the teachers union for fighting vouchers, that's their job, to keep the most ignorant teachers employed, but politicians have broken a trust with their constituents, to fight for the things that are best for the citizenry.
I will admit that there are probably a few good teachers out there, here's an example:
Snopes
Desk JockeyedIn September of 2005, a social studies schoolteacher from Arkansas did something not to be forgotten. On the first day of school, with permission of the school superintendent, the principal, and the building supervisor, she took all of the desks out of the classroom. The kids came into first period, they walked in; there were no desks. They obviously looked around and said, "Where's our desks?"
The teacher said, "You can't have a desk until you tell me how you earn them."
They thought, "Well, maybe it's our grades."
"No," she said.
"Maybe it's our behavior."
And she told them, "No, it's not even your behavior."
And so they came and went in the first period, still no desks in the classroom. Second period, same thing. Third period. By early afternoon television news crews had gathered in the class to find out about this crazy teacher who had taken all the desks out of the classroom. The last period of the day, the instructor gathered her class.
They were at this time sitting on the floor around the sides of the room. She said, "Throughout the day no one has really understood how you earn the desks that sit in this classroom ordinarily. Now I'm going to tell
you."She went over to the door of her classroom and opened it, and as she did
27 U.S. veterans, wearing their uniforms, walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. And they placed those school desks in rows, and then they stood along the wall. By the time they had finished placing the desks, those kids for the first time I think perhaps in their lives understood how they earned those desks.Their teacher said, "You don't have to earn those desks. These guys did it for you. They put them out there for you, but it's up to you to sit here responsibly, to learn, to be good students and good citizens, because they paid a price for you to have that desk, and don't ever forget it."
Why do I think this particular teacher is good? Because she's teaching a valuable lesson, not the multiculturalism-is-great, diversity-is-fantastic, every-other-country-is-as-good-as-America crap that's being spouted by liberals.
We in America have thousands of reasons to tell our children why they should be proud of their country, instead we have taught them to loathe and despise it; how else to explain for all the America-is-a-fascist-country nonsense we hear on college campuses today?
Even Palestinians teach their children to love Islam despite the fact that it's a barbaric, primitive, brutal, backward, violent, vengeful, racist, self-destructive piece of shit pseudo-religion. We have so much in America to be proud of yet our children are taught very little of the greatness of our country. I doubt that private schools would have the nerve to be so hateful and so anti-American. It's time we stopped the public school system.
You know something is wrong in this country when even our presidential candidates hate our country; here's Barack Obama, who grew up in culturally diverse surroundings and who doesn't have the decency to honor our flag during the singing of our National Anthem (link to story):
Of course, sometimes the problem with our educational system is parents who are too prudish for this century:
Just a Girl in short shorts talking about whatever ,
Naughty TeacherMiss Mallon is a humanities teacher,and the cheerleading coach, at Williams Field High School in Gilbert, Arizona. Earlier this month, at the urging of her kids,she put on a sneak preview of a new routine the cheerleaders would be performing:
But apparently in Gilbert, Arizona it is a crime for a teacher to show enthusiasm and get involved with their class. This is because the stiffs have done such a fine job of getting the learning done.

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