So I just finished reading the story about the husband who went to Lingerie school to get sexy underwear for his wife (1). I have to tell you, attending a "lingerie academy" will not teach you anything about buying sexy underwear for a woman. It isn't about the underwear. Let me explain.

My wife loves presents; she loves buying them for family members and she loves getting them, no surprise there. But in the first 10 years of our marriage I bought her Vermont Teddy Bears, sexy bras, lace panties, roses, orchids, Godiva Chocolates, designer leather jackets, fur coats (yes, PETA: Mink, Sable, and Ermine), Este Lauder Perfume, Cosmetic Cases, Professional Hair Dryers, Makeup Brush Sets, Fragrant Bath Gels, Spa Gift Packages, Cashmere Knit Hats, wool scarves, Foot Massagers - OK wait a second - let me catch my breath

Whew, alright, let's continue: wallets, Bose Wave Radio, Fruit Baskets, purses, blouses, paintings, stuffed animals, music boxes, crystal dishes, ivory figurines, Disney Snow Globes, singing telegrams, silk gloves, Argyle Sweaters, and hundreds of other items with a combination of three or more gifts at one time for each Birthday, Mother's Day, Anniversary, Easter, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and sometimes for No-reason-at-all Day.

And although she was happy when she received the gifts, I eventually noticed that I rarely saw her actually wearing anything I bought her. It's not that I needed her to jump up and down and cry when she received a passel of gifts, but it did concern me that she lacked enthusiasm for any of them. One day I asked her what happened to this gift or that, and she told me she returned it in exchange for something else.

What Do Women Really Want?

I suppose I took the bait: I asked her what it was that she really wanted. She said she was happy with the gifts she was getting. I insisted. She still wouldn't tell me. So I threatened not buy another gift unless she would tell me exactly what it was that she would like to get as a gift, truly.

So finally she told me: Jewelry.

Jewelry? For my readers who do not know, my wife and I own a Jewelry store filled with 14kt and 18kt Gold, Sterling Silver and Platinum rings, bracelets, necklaces, and earrings. I asked her why would she want jewelry when she is surrounded by jewelry all day? The last thing I would have ever thought of buying her would have been jewelry. But that's what she said she wanted and only that.

So for the past 22 years I go to New York and in the same manufacturing places that I purchase inventory for our store, I pick out a single piece of jewelry for every birthday, holiday, and anniversary, put it in a box, wrap it, and give it to her. Unbelievably, she is enthusiastic for everything I buy her and better yet, for the first time she actually wears the gifts.

Want to buy your wife a present? Ask her what she truly, really wants. Just ask. Otherwise you will never figure it out. There is no school for buying a woman a gift.