Sitting on a toilet for Two Years from Planck's Constant

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 3.2 million Americans ages 18-54 have agoraphobia, an abnormal fear of open spaces which predominantly affects women. In a certain manner it is the opposite of claustrophobia, the abnormal fear of enclosed spaces, although both phobias may entail fear of crowds or losing control.

Years ago I employed a woman who was agoraphobic and had to come to work escorted by a female friend. Although she had no problem greeting strangers inside my jewelry store, she had a morbid fear of meeting strangers outside of it. When her friend died she got married, I suppose so she would have company when she went to the supermarket. I've never seen her alone.

So I understood the dynamic behind the story today of the Kansas woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years (so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the man finally called police). I've heard of fears of sitting on the toilet too long or snakes or monsters or rats coming out of it, but this is the first time I've heard of a fear of leaving a toilet seat. But perhaps it's not a phobia at all, but rather the joy of sitting on a toilet? So before anyone names this particular ailment I would like to offer sessiophilia: the love of sitting down.

I should mention that I have a few relatives that have Parcopresis, or the inability to defecate when other people are around.

The National Phobics Society in the UK estimates at least four million Britons have toilet phobia. If you, dear reader, are one of these, then here is a UK site if you have any kind of worries about toilets, are afraid to go on a long journey in case there aren't any around, or nervous about using public toilets or relieving yourself outdoors on a country walk.

I'm certain that one of the main reasons that Brits have toilet phobias is precisely because they put up with all the crap from Muslims. Every single day one can read about someone in Britain bending over and taking it up the kazoo over some Muslim petty demands. Remove pork from this cafeteria or take out piggy banks from that store window or take out art in that museum. Amazingly, Muslims don't even have to ask, these cowards preemptively remove things that "might" offend Muslims. It shouldn't be long before Shariah Law is implemented in the UK.

I should confess that we in America bend over as well for Muslims, so much so that even when Muslims torture animals PETA is fearful to protest.