How to be a Good Employee from Planck's Constant

When I was twelve years old (1957) I shined shoes on Saturdays to get money for comic books and movies. One of the ways I would get bigger tips was to offer to change worn out shoelaces. I'd say, "Hey mister, your laces are worn out, I'll change 'em for you, no charge." Of course, it was a rare bird indeed who wouldn't give me an extra dime or two for the effort. I got the laces for free by going to shoe stores and asking if they had any odd laces lying around.

When I was 15 years old I used to help out at Zampetti's Gas Station in Bayonne, New Jersey. Aside from the hourly wages, I would earn tips offering customers to check their oil, top up the air in their tires, wash their windows (and I mean all their windows), and on hot days I would ask if they'd like me get a soda for them out of the Coke machine. Years later Zampetti lent me $5,000 to go into the vending machine business.

At 17 years of age, I got a special dispensation from the City of Bayonne to work at Baker Castor Oil Company because State Law required one to be at least 18 to work in a chemical plant.

Although I was fired dozens of times by my boss, I was always rehired because I was the best Urethane Technician they ever had. I was instrumental in getting urethane to cure without bubbling all over the place. A few years later, one of their chief chemists, a guy named Cooperman, when he was ready to go and start his own chemical business asked me to join him as a partner. I was 20 years old.

Even though I was self-employed in the shoe shine example, I would have done exactly the same thing were I working for someone else.

Now that I am a boss there are certain rules that I expect of all employees. These may be different than what other businesses expect of their employees, but if you follow these rules, not only will you be successful, you will hold onto your job while all others are losing theirs.

Many businesses expect you to get to work on time - wrong! Be early.

Many businesses likewise expect you not to leave early - again wrong! If 5 o'clock is the end of day, then don't even begin to get ready to leave until a few minutes after 5.

Don't get sick. Don't party on the night before you have to go to work. Don't look for ways to avoid work.

You already know that you should work hard - not be lazy. But if you want to be very successful then work harder than anyone else. If it takes one hour for everyone to do the work, do it in 50 minutes.

Don't lie. If you cannot do the work required for whatever reason, tell me the reason; do not pretend you are doing the work hoping I won't find out. I would rather give you the day off than have you malingering or slacking.

Don't drink or take weed to excess. If it affects your work, you will eventually get fired.

Don't get involved with losers. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is a junkie or alcoholic it will affect your work.

Don't be a whiner. Something wrong with the work environment? Improve it, fix it, change it. Somebody else is slacking off? Don't worry about it, just do your job and do it 110%.

If you have an hour for lunch, take only 30 minutes. Get back to work.

Don't make personal phone calls, text messages, or emails. Stick to business.

Be helpful to customers, vendors, and other employees. Act as if the business was yours and that every penny you make went directly into your pocket. And always act happy. I don't care if you are miserable as shit, don't show it. If you act happy, the workplace will be a happy place - if you act miserable you'll drag everyone else down. Sing a happy tune when you show up for work.

Never, ever say anything bad about your boss.

Don't let your relatives or friends visit you at work or take time away from your job.

No matter what your job - there is nothing more important than your job. You may think your children or your spouse come before the job, but where will your children get their next meal if you don't have a job? And if you think your spouse will hang around when you are no longer employed, think again. Lack of money is one of the main reasons for divorce.

Act as if your job is more important than life itself.