In a related matter: A few months before I started blogging a number of news organizations including the New York Times ran this typo about beef panties.

Mmmmm. Beef panties. Is McDonald's missing the boat on these? However, I suspect that most panties (beef or otherwise) are contaminated with E. coli.

Speaking of contaminated panties, I also ran across a few websites that sell used panties. The more worn, sweaty and pungent - the higher the price. Here's what it costs for panties worn for the designated period of time by one of the women from the website "Saucy Used Panties" which I will not link to.

24 hrs $24.00
48 hrs $35.00
72 hrs $54.00

Here is their guarantee:

The Saucy Used Panties Promise -

01) The dirty panties which we sell will be worn by either Tina or Tiffany.
02) All panty orders will be double sealed after wearing so you receive them still moist.
03) We are both non smokers so no nasty nicotine smells just p*ssy.
04) No artificial sprays or tricks will be used on your order for worn panties.
05) Panties will be worn for the stated amount of time requested.
06) We do not wear perfume or body sprays whilst wearing panties.
07) No Sexual intercourse takes place while preparing your worn panties.
08) Panties are washed and worn a few times before being sold (removes the new smell).
09) All worn panties are treated in strictest confidence your privacy matters to us.
10) Packages arrive unmarked and we never store your details or pass them on.

Sensing a business opportunity, I told my wife she was making a big mistake washing her undies. Unfortunately she's too shy to allow even strangers to sniff her panties. So she says, "Why don't you wear my panties pretending you're a young girl and sell them over the Internet?" Well, aside from the dishonesty issue, I remember what my mother always told me: "Wear clean underwear because you never know when you'll be in an accident." Now that could really be embarrassing, wearing a few-days-old smelly, dainty, lacy pink panties and having them taken off in an emergency room. I'm not sure how I would explain that.

Besides, I would have to wear really, really large panties, I'm not a tiny person.

I recall reading about an eBay retailer who sells clothing worn by celebrities from films they were in. Hmmm, I wonder if he has any panties worn by Megan Fox in the film "Transformers"? Allow me to answer my own question: Actually eBay has a no used underwear policy - too bad.

Disclaimers: The Kimberly Bikini Panty photo above is courtesy of The Little Bra Company from whom I receive NO commission or compensation whatsoever for mentioning or sniffing their panties. In addition, although I supplied no links, if you do go out and buy some used, dirty, moist panties and you end up with an itchy, burning feeling in your nether parts, I will not be held responsible. Please read my full Disclaimer.