A doctor on his morning walk noticed an old woman sitting on her front step smoking a cigar. Deep wrinkles furrowed her forehead, her face leathery from years of sun. He walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"

"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniel's every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, and don't exercise at all."

"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"

"Thirty-four," she replied.