Tiger Woods Par for the Course from Planck's Constant

Jaimee Grubbs claims she had affair
with Tiger Woods
Photo Credit: Courier Mail

The new woman linked to 33-year-old Woods has been identified as a cocktail waitress called Jaimee Grubbs, 24, who appeared recently in an American TV program called Tool Academy. I wonder what tool she was polishing on that show.

US media reports have already claimed that Woods has been having a sexual affair with a New York nightclub hostess and that the pair met up in Melbourne when he was Down Under for the Australian Masters. Again we have a phrase that describes Tiger's adventures lately, "down under."

OK, so now all the jokes come out:

Q. What sandwich does Tiger Woods' wife like to serve him?
A. A club sandwich.

Elin found out he’s not a Tiger, he’s a Cheetah.

I never realized he was such a swinger.

Q. What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?
A. Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

This is not the first time that Tiger Woods smashed his balls into a tree.

Looks like Tiger will be looking for a new caddie.

Q. What do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common?
A. Both were clubbed by a Scandinavian.

Meanwhile, American gossip website TMZ is reporting Grubbs claims she had a 31-month affair with Woods. The magazine claims Grubbs had 20 sexual encounters with Tiger. Well, now we know what's par for that hole.

Regarding possible fines and points for reckless driving, a police spokesperson said no other charges would be laid. Is laid the right word to use here or is everyone having fun with this story?

Woods has remained holed up in his mansion since the crash. Is holed up the right word to use for a golf star?

I don't get it. These sports superstars know they have an insatiable libido, why don't they wait to get married until after they've had their thousand flings? They know they're going to cheat. Why not just keep the future bride as a girlfriend for a few years and make a deal with her that she'll get a few million just to be a girlfriend and hang around. Otherwise, if they get married and then get caught cheating they'll lose a lot more than a few million.