Photo Credit: eatliver.com

It never fails: whenever I'm in a hurry some moron and his wife will stand two abreast on the escalator as if nature stopped making humans after they were born. And if I'm unlucky enough, I'll find myself too far back in the line to let these pieces of crap know they are constipating the pipe.

Rudeness is not always deliberate discourtesy, often it is the result of simply being stupid and uneducated.

Yesterday I drove into a filled parking lot and spied someone getting into their car. Just to make sure they were indeed leaving, I gave a very short but quiet tap on my horn and gestured "are you leaving?" with my finger. He nodded, "Yes." and so I waited for him to back out and leave. One minute passed... two minutes. And I could see he was adjusting his mirror, turning on the defrost, putting away some shopping receipts, turning on the radio, making sure his hair is groomed, and God knows what else. Finally, he pulls out and leaves.

As he pulled out I gave another honk to capture his attention and when he looked my way I tapped my forehead, grimaced, and shook my head to indicate to him that I considered him rude, uncivilized, mentally imbalanced and a general idiot. Now for those who do not know how to function properly in society, this is what you are supposed to do when you know someone is waiting for you to pull your car out of a parking spot: get the f*ck out! After you pull out of your parking spot, drive to a spot that doesn't obstruct someone else, and then, and only then, at your leisure you may apply makeup, turn on the radio, straighten out your tie, pass gas, and engage in other silly diversions that amuse you.

My own observation on situations like this is that if I wait at a distance where the person cannot see me waiting, they tend to get out much more quickly. Something in their gut, in the innermost part of their being bristles at the thought that someone wants their parking spot, even though they no longer need it, they just have to make someone suffer by waiting. I'm not saying it's willful malvy, but it's malvy nonetheless.

Here's another example: I go through the Holland Tunnel every weekday. In order to get into the tunnel during peak hours one must merge from six lanes into two. This requires proceeding in a manner consistent with the "Zipper Rule." Unless you are from the Middle East where the "Zipper Rule" means not letting the goat hear you unzippering as you sneak up on the beast, in this country it means that as two streams of cars merge they alternate into the stream. New York Cab and limo drivers are notorious for disregarding the rule. Perhaps because many of them are in fact from the MIddle East.