Butt-Bras in Las Vegas
By Bernie on 28 Jul 2010
When I travel for less than a week all I need is a backpack, so for my five night stay in Las Vegas checking in at the airport was a breeze.
My daughter-in-law however packed three suitcases. I always enjoy asking women stupid questions, so I asked her, "Why so many suitcases?" Silly me. She started off with 17 pairs of sandals and shoes. I stopped her right there. I didn't need to hear the rest. I knew there would be a long list.
There were five of us in the mini-suite, my son, daughter-in-law, her girlfriend, her girlfriend's boyfriend, and me (my wife decided not to make the trip). Luckily the place came with two separate bathrooms because the women had the vanity counters completely covered with lipstick tubes, glosses, assorted gels and lacquers, cotton swabs, eye brushes, cheek brushes, eye-liners, flosses, blushes, mascara tubes, wands, waxes, nail polish bottles, nail polish removers, nail files, scissors, squeezers, steamers, tweezers, scrapers, squashers, applicators, ...
[taking a breath]
... lotions, notions, nourishers, creams, moisturizers, powders, peelers, paints, oils, eye-washes, nose-sprays, deodorants, emollients, compacts, concealers, revealers, uplifters, perfumes, vitamins, tampons, combs, depilatories, hair curlers, hair sprays, hair brushes, hair setters, hair rollers, hair clips, headbands, extensions, braids, and a few hundred other items I don't even know what to call.
So one can see why women need more than two suitcases.
Caesars Palace on a good weekend is filled with tens of thousands of beautiful women wearing what cumulatively adds up to a few tons of makeup products. Looking pretty and desirable is a conditio sine qua non for young women at any casino today.
But what was difficult for me to determine (without pinching) was if all the Jaylo butts I came across were in fact genuine. I know what some of my readers are wondering: why do men obsess about rear ends. The truth is, it's an evolutionary thing: men are biologically attracted to big butts because women possessing them tend to give birth to smarter children 1.
Although celebrities have more than enough money to afford plastic surgery to lift and puff up their butts, for many women a cheaper solution is available: the butt bra - or as one manufacturer calls it, the biniki. Wearers simply tuck their Biniki underneath their panties to get that Jaylo lift. Click on the before photo for a view of the aft after the biniki.
It should be mentioned that cosmetically altering one butt's size or shape will not make the children any smarter.
Of course, Muslim women who are forced to wear Burqas, hijabs, abayas, or any full tent covering do not have to worry about their appearance - Muslim men will still treat them like cattle no matter how they look.
Notes
(1):
BlogSoop, 29 Oct 2007, When It Comes To Determining Your Child’s Intelligence, Hips Don’t Lie
Two researchers, Steven Gaulin and William Lassek believe our attraction to an hourglass figure may have evolutionary significance. In a recent study, Lassek and Gaulin found that a woman’s waist to hip ratio had an impact on a child’s intelligence; curvy women birthed children with superior cognitive abilities. “Men respond because it’s reproductively important,” Lassek believes.
Omega-3 fatty acids, the same fat found in flax and certain types of fish, are believed to be the source of the benefits. These fats compose much of the human brain (which is 60% fat by dry weight). They are selectively stored in the hips and thighs beginning in adolescence. Notably, women do not begin metabolize these deposits except during the third trimester of pregnancy and during lactation - peak times for a child’s brain growth.
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