I have seen unemployed, unmarried Muslims scoring more than the average soccer player. There are only a few reasons I would ever watch a soccer game.

Reason number one: These women are playing and it is raining, a lot.

Reason number two: Argentina is playing (Argentinian fans take their soccer seriously):

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Reason number three: Brazil is playing (Brazilian fans take their soccer seriously):

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Reason number four: If Paraguay wins. Larissa Riquelme, a curvy Paraguay lingerie model who loves her national team, has pledged to run naked through the streets "with my body painted with the colors of Paraguay" if Paraguay wins the World Cup.

Well, so far Paraguay won to the quarter-finals last Wednesday when they beat Japan on penalties. She was pictured celebrating with her mobile phone between her breasts and has joked she would like to replace it with the World Cup. Need I say what I would like to replace the mobile phone with?

Perhaps I do get soccer - maybe it has nothing to do with what's happening on the field.

This post has been filed under male chauvinist pigs.