Mug shot of skinhead and convicted
killer Christopher Whitley.
Photo Credit: National Geographic

Three Muslims were all applying for the last available position of NYPD forensic scientist at the real CSI in New York. The comely female detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So you want to be forensic detectives, huh?"

Each Muslim whispered, "Insha'Allah," and nodded.

The detective got up, tugged her tight skirt down, yanked open a file drawer, and grabbed a folder.

Sitting back down, she opened it, pulled out a picture (see photo above), and said, "To be a member of CSI, you must have excellent skills in detection. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth."

So saying, she stuck the photo in the face of the first Muslim and withdrew it after about two seconds.

"Now," she said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The Muslim immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has but one eye!"

The detective shook her head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

The first Muslim mumbled a curse in Arabic "sharmuta," and angrily walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second Muslim, stuck the photo in his face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! By the Prophet's Beard, he only has one ear!"

The detective put her head in her hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other fellow? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused too!"

The second Muslim made an oblique reference to her mother's vagina and stormed out of the office.

The detective turned her attention to the third and last Muslim and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but...."

She flashed the photo in his face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, and with a sigh asked, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The Muslim said, "Oh, most assuredly. This man wears contact lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. She looked up at the Muslim with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts!

How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The Muslim rolled his eyes and while bobbling his head said, "Well, if Allah the Merciful only gave this poor fellow one eye and one ear, then certainly there is no way he can wear glasses."