A Muslim Walks into a UK Welfare Office from Planck's Constant

Ahmed walked into a local DWP (Department for Work and Pensions) in London to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know I truly despise being on the dole. I would much prefer to have a job."

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just now were informed of a job opening from a very wealthy old gent who needs a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Rolls Royce Phantom Coupé, and he will supply all of your clothes.

"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort his daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

Ahmed, just plain wide-eyed, said, "Bloody hell, are you talking shite?"

The social worker said, "Yes, well ... You started it."

Bare Naked Islam, UK: MORE good-for-nothing MUSLIM WELFARE LEECHES living in luxury paid for by British taxpayers
An UNEMPLOYED family of former asylum-seekers from Somalia are living in a $3.2 million luxury townhouse in one of Britain’s most exclusive addresses at a cost to taxpayers of $12,000 a month because they didn’t like the ‘poorer’ part of the city they were living in.
Mr Nur, 42, an unemployed bus conductor, and his 40-year-old wife, who has never worked, are now living in Kensington despite the fact that they are totally dependent on state benefits.

...

The family’s new home is believed to be one of the most expensive houses ever paid for by housing benefit, which is administered by local councils but funded by the Department for Work and Pensions...

Mr Nur said his former five-bedroom home in the Kensal Rise area of Brent, which cost £900 a week in housing benefit, was suitable for the family’s needs but he said they had felt compelled to move because they did not like living ‘in a very poor area’ and were unhappy with the quality of local shops and schools.

Some of my Muslim readers may wonder how this Mr Nur is related to the joke at the top of the page, after all, isn't it possible Mr Nur is actually looking for a job as a bus conductor? Not really, according to this comment left in response to the article above:

We true Brits are being over-run by these sponging vermin whilst they are being aided by our useless spineless self interest politicians. This Mr Nur describes himself as an unemployed bus conductor. How very convenient. To claim unemployment benefit in the UK a person has to be unable to find a job to suit his capabilities. The fact is that Britain has not had the need for bus conductors since one man operated buses were introduced years ago. This bone idle piece of slime is well aware of this and so are our useless politicians.