Photo Credit: Tin Plate Collectables

Before E-ZPass came along, waiting in line to pay the toll was for me much like having my groin-hairs waxed. Every once in a while, some moron riding on the New Jersey Turnpike would somehow lose his entry ticket and end up having to pay the full toll rate as if he entered New Jersey from the farthest distance away.

But not before spending at least five to ten minutes completely scouring the car for the ticket while I'm stuck behind him unable to back up and enter another lane.

Then there are times I recall handing a toll collector a twenty dollar bill only to have him scowl and ask me why I didn't have something smaller. And here I thought a part of the job description was to facilitate the making of change.

But I suppose just sticking one's hand out and taking money is too much work, God forbid he should need to calculate how much change to give back.

So I was quite pleased when E-ZPass was created. No waiting in lines, no looking for change, no losing tickets, no putting up with ornery toll collectors who should be kissing your feet for the privilege of being over-paid coin-monkeys. In addition, with E-ZPass I get a discount for off-peak travel. For business people, there is the advantage of an electronic tab to keep track of travel expenses without needing a cigar-box full of receipts.

If you drive on toll roads or bridges in the Northeastern US where E-ZPass is used and you're are not sure if you are an idiot or not, ask yourself one question: "Do I have E-ZPass?" If your answer is No, then yes, you are an idiot.

Now comes even better news: the N.J. Turnpike Authority plans to eliminate all toll collection jobs within 2 years (1). There must be a God (as an atheist, this is difficult for me to write).

Paying toll collectors to take money is like paying someone to push elevator buttons. That actually was a job once. Good riddance.

Now if only we could wise up and get rid of public school teachers altogether, taxpayers could save trillions of dollars in unnecessary and wasteful expenses. But who will educate our children, you ask? Give parents vouchers and let them shop for schools. But that's an article for another day.