The Irishman, The Italian and The Muslim in a Bar from Planck's Constant

An Irishman, an Italian and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?" OK - that's not the punchline. Before you object that a Muslim is forbidden to consume alcohol, allow me to inform you that Muslims have no problem drinking and whoring around.

Some of us recall that days before his martyrdom attack (indeed he expected to die) at Ft Hood, Nidal Malik Hasan visited a titty-bar not far from the base; read How To Catch Jihadists Before they Murder.

So let me continue with the joke:

An Irishman, an Italian and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar: a quiet man.

The three men keep looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar.

They stare and stare, wondering where they had seen him before, when suddenly the Irishman cries out, "oh bejesus begora, I know who that man is. It's Jesus!"

The others look again and, sure enough, it is Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table. The Irishman calls out, "Hey!, you! Are you Jesus?"

The man looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am Jesus" he says.

The Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him, "I'd like you to give Jesus over there a glass of beer on me." So the bartender pours Jesus a beer and takes it over to his table.

Jesus looks over, raises his glass, smiles a thank you and drinks.

The Italian, not wanting to be left out, has the bartender send over a pitcher of beer which Jesus accepts with pleasure.

The Muslim as well beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a carafe of wine, a couple of glasses of brandy and a nice panatela, which the bartender duly does.

As before, Jesus accepts the drinks and the cigar and smiles over at the man.

Some time later, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches the three men.

He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the beer. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement.

"Oh God, the arthritis is gone," he says. "I've had for years and it's gone. It's a miracle!"

Jesus then shakes the hand of the Italian, thanking him for the pitcher of beer. Upon letting go, the Italian's eyes widen in shock. "Mama Mia", he exclaims, "The migraine I've had for over 40 years is completely gone. It's a Miracle!"

Jesus then approaches the Muslim, who has a terrified look on his face.

The Muslim waves off the handshake and utters, "Screw Off, I'm on medicaid."

The above is adapted from an Internet email and was inspired by the following story:

Un:dhimmi, 16 Jan 2010,
EU Rules Terrorists’ Families Must Have Welfare Benefits Reinstated
Europe’s law chief wants Britain to reinstate the payment of tens of thousands of pounds in State handouts to the wives of suspected Al Qaeda and Taliban fanatics.

Ministers have halted benefit payouts made to the families of suspected terrorists to prevent the money falling into the hands of banned groups.

The Treasury says the power is a vital weapon in the war against terrorism. It stems from a crackdown on terrorist financing launched in the aftermath of the September 11 attacks.

However, the senior advocate of the European Court of Justice, Paolo Mengozzi, yesterday declared the decision to stop the payments was unfair on the grounds of human rights.

His opinion is likely to prove crucial when Europe’s highest court considers three test cases brought by the wives of British-based terror suspects later this year.

In eight out of every ten cases, the court has agreed with the Advocate General – making it highly likely the UK taxpayer will soon begin forking out hundreds of pounds a week to the families.

Whitehall officials have refused to name the families involved in the test cases – but all three of the husbands are foreign nationals on the United Nations list of international terror suspects.