Door Opening Etiquette: Food Before Gender from Planck's Constant

Flickr Usert: Gexydaf

So I'm walking toward the exit door at a Garden State Rest Stop holding a hot dog in one hand and a soda in the other. I usually do one of two things: if I don't see anyone through the glass door I spin around 180° and push the door open with my back; otherwise I wait for an approaching person to open the door for me.

Today a middle-aged black woman reached the door the same time I did and so I waited for her to open the door. She just stood there waiting for me to do what, drop my food and drink on the floor and open the door for her? I arced my head nodding first toward my dog and then at my Coke and did a Groucho Marx with my eyebrows, indicating: "I'm waiting for you." She still wouldn't move. I was ready to about-face and push the door into her face with my back when someone behind her pulled the door open.

Instead of letting me go first, she muscled through, pushing me out of the way. I was about to fling an invective at her back, something about being an uncivilized, rude boor but decided she wouldn't understand me and so I went on my way, shaking my head at her incredibly bad manners.

Let me say that there are rude people in every race and of every ethnicity, however I have found New Jersey black women to be particularly, arrogantly, rude. Not all black women, but enough to become annoyed at the frequency.

For my Muslim readers (and for a few New Jersey black women) who may not understand Door Opening Etiquette in America, here are a few rules.

Yes, women before men. However there are exceptions:

Senior citizens before young folks.
Bosses before employees.
People carrying food before women, seniors, or bosses.

Presidents before Senators, Senators before Congressman, Congressman before voters, etc.
Royalty before "commoners."
Pregnant women before anyone above.
Disabled before anyone else.

And of course, infidels before Muslims. That means a pregnant, disabled, wheelchair-bound Queen of a Muslim nation must hold the door open for any non-Muslim, male or female, old or young. Anyone who believes in Islam does not deserve our respect.

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