Man With Two-year Erection Needs to Meet German Nymphomaniac
Classic Red 1950 Ford Woodie
Photo Credit: SoCal Beaches Magazine
The world is a funny place. There is no shortage of incredible news articles every single day. I'm not talking about reports of old Muslim men marrying prepubescent 12 year-old girls (1) (in non-Muslim countries no less) - that kind of story is not only not incredible, it is quite commonplace and expected.
What I'm talking about is crazy stuff: here are two examples:
- A motorcyclist filed suit against BMW claiming the ridged seat of his bike left him with a two-year long erection (2).
- A Munich man was found crying in the street after he was forced to repeatedly have sex with a German nymphomaniac (3).
In the first instance I want to ask, "What's the problem? Scarlett Johansson leaves me with a big red woodie and you don't see me suing her." See my article The 13 Hottest Photos of Scarlett Johansson.
In the second instance I understand the problem, although it's a male fantasy to be with a nymphomaniac, it is impossible to maintain a constant erection.
My solution to both problems is to introduce the man with the perpetual woodie to the German nymphomaniac - both should live happily ever after.
Jihad Watch, 9 Sep 2012, UK: Muslim clerics agreeing to marry girls as young as 12, as long as parents don't tell anyone
A Sunday Times journalist visited the Husaini Islamic Centre in Peterborough - the 'first Shite mosque in the whole of Europe' - posing as the father of a 12-year-old girl.
According to the newspaper, the reporter was told by Imam Mohamed Kassamali that 'under sharia [Islamic law] there is no problem' in marrying a 12-year-old.
SFGate.com, 30 Apr 2012, Man sues BMW after motorcycle seat allegedly causes 2-year erection
Henry Wolf filed suit against BMW North America and Corbin-Pacific, Inc. He claimed in the lawsuit that the “ridged seat” of his 1993 BMW motorcycle caused him mental and emotional anguish after it left him with a severe case of priapism, aka a long-lasting erection.
Wolf said he rode the motorcycle in San Francisco on a four-hour round trip on May 1, 2010 and developed the priapism soon after.
"I met her on a bus... She invited me back here. Oh God, it was hell. I can't walk. Please help me," he told Munich police when they found him in tears outside her apartment after the 36-hour episode.
The woman reportedly tried to seduce the two arresting officers with a "quickie" - who politely declined.