Here is an email joke I first received over two years ago. Every so often some reader sends me a copy asking me to publish it, but I delayed doing so until I could add something interesting to the story. Well, after all that time the only thing I could come up with is this interesting photo of what appears to be a Martian genital appendage found at this website which repeated the Sex on Mars joke.

The photo is indeed Martian in origin which I will explain at the bottom of the post, but first the joke:

Sex On Mars

The year is 2222, and Charlie and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent Flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.

Charlie asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.

'Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen.

The Martian responds, 'Pretty much the way you do.'

A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another...

Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips - he's got only a teeny, weenie member about half an inch long and just a quarter-inch thick.

'I don't think this is going to work,' says Maureen..

'Why?' he asks. 'What's the matter?'

'Well,' she replies, 'it's just not long enough to reach me!'

'No problem,' he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively long.

'Well,' she says, 'that's quite impressive, but it is still narrow.'

'No problem,' he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.

'Wow!' she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad passionate love.

The next day the couples rejoin their other partners and go their separate ways. As they walked along,

Charlie asks, 'Well, was it any good?'

'I hate to say it,' says Maureen, 'but it was wonderful. How about you?'

'It was horrible,' he replies. 'All I got was a headache ... She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.'

Now let me explain the photo which appears to be some alien penis apparatus of a sort. It's actually an altered image of the North Pole of Mars taken by NASA. Cut the right side of the image below, reverse it, and place it over the left side and viola! Martian penis.

Here is the caption to the original NASA photo above:

One of the discoveries of Mariner 9 spacecraft was that the south pole of Mars was formed of thin layers or sheets of ice and sediment. Four years later, on October 10, 1976, the Viking 2 spacecraft took this image of the north pole of Mars. The visible banding occurred as a result of the deposition windblown dust on the polar cover. As the polar region experiences climatic variations the cover expands and contracts. Settled dust layers get thicker near the poles where ice deposits are preserved longer. The thickness of the deposits formed indicates that annual changes are due to cyclical rather than climatic variations . As the ice disappears in one area, the wind exposes the strata carving the valleys and canyons. The formation of these rolling deposits is a process that is still active today.

-(Calvin J. Hamilton © 1997)