I go almost every weekend to Atlantic City; I need getting away from business for a few days. The concentration required to play Texas Holdem helps take the pressure off. I usually take a room at either Bally's or Harrah's. Although Harrah's has nicer rooms and a better system of in-room entertainment (one can pause, rewind, and later view in-room movies), it also has too many noisy, raucous young people on the gambling floor and so it makes for a more annoying, distracting atmosphere.

This weekend I stayed at Bally's which happens to have the better room service selection of food (one can even add lobster to any entree for only an additional 29 bucks), and I always have a good time there; however this morning I was beaten up by a woman. Let me explain: I was in an elevator at Bally's when this beautiful, busty woman gets in.

I'm a man and I'm not ashamed to admit that yes, I was staring at her boobs, when she said, "Would you please press one?"

So I did.

I don't remember much after that.