The Three Little Pigs As Told by Muslims
In my article Pork Rinds - A Dangerous Idea, I reported that in 2007, a UK church school production of The Three Little Pigs was renamed The Three Little Puppies in order to avoid being offensive to Muslims. As well in 2007 many schools in Michigan banned pork products from their cafeterias in order to ... well, you know, avoid offending Muslim students.
As more and more Muslims emigrate and more and more Muslims procreate in our country, there will eventually (1) be a call to ban everything porkish in America. But pork products are a major component of US agriculture with more than 70,000 farms employing hundreds of thousands of workers and the third most important meat in our diet behind chicken and beef (2).
To save our pork-eating way of life, I propose that we make a small change to the Three Little Pigs story to make it acceptable to Muslims while keeping the pigs in the title:
The Three Little Jewish Pigs
Once upon a time there were three little Jewish pigs and the time came for them to leave home and steal others' fortunes and so they went to Palestine.
Once there, they began to buy houses from the Arabs; one Jewish pig bought a house of straw, the second bought a house of sticks of wood, and the third bought a house of brick.
The Jewish pig who bought the house of straw came in the middle of the night and set fire to it, even though a family of Arabs had not yet moved out - they all died. The next day he went to the insurance company to claim the loss of the house. He made a lot of money.
The Jewish pig who bought the house of sticks came in the middle of the night and set fire to it, even though a family of Arabs had not yet moved out - they all died. The next day he went to the insurance company to claim the loss of the house. He also made a lot of money.
The Jewish pig who bought the house of bricks came in the middle of the night and bulldozed it and blamed it on Arab nationalists, even though a family of Arabs had not yet moved out - they all died. The next day he went to the insurance company to claim the loss of the house. He also made a lot of money.
One day the three little Jewish pigs were at Bank Leumi to deposit all their filthy money when the Wolf came up to them and began to huff and to puff and then blew himself up killing everyone in the bank.
That afternoon there was dancing in all the cities in Palestine, the filthy Jewish pigs were dead and all the Arabs lived happily ever after!
ENDNOTES
(1):
Planck's Constant, When is Too Many Muslims?
From 5% on they [Muslim] exercise an inordinate influence in proportion to their percentage of the population. They will push for the introduction of halal (clean by Islamic standards) food, thereby securing food preparation jobs for Muslims. They will increase pressure on supermarket chains to feature it on their shelves — along with threats for failure to comply.
(2):
The American Meat Institute, The United States Meat Industry at a Glance
In 2011, American meat companies produced: 26.3 billion pounds of beef 22.8 billion pounds of pork 5.8 billion pounds of turkey 291 million pounds of veal, lamb and mutton 37.7 billion pounds of chicken
