Stalking my Wife




stalking tiger
Flickr-User Rebecca Maher

It was 15 March 1975 when I heard her voice outside my office door. "Let's leave," she said to her brother, "this place gives me the creeps." I was operating a car leasing business on the third floor of 25th Street and Broadway in Bayonne New Jersey and had advertised for franchisees in order to expand my business. I put an ad in the Newark Star Ledger and Ann's brother Ted was looking for some business to get into. Ted had asked her to come with him to see what this car leasing thing was all about.

Let me digress for a moment: we are all familiar today with car leasing but in 1975, when I started doing it, it was a brand new way of financing a vehicle. Car dealerships were not yet into it as they are today, so I was a bit ahead of the curve; therefore when I write that Ann's brother wanted to see what car leasing was all about, it wasn't that he wasn't a savvy businessperson, it was most people were not familiar with it.

Anyway, I had hired a few 13-year-old kids to run errands for me, pick up mail, clean up the office, get food, etc., and one of the boys, Jerry, on spotting Ann and Ted in front of my office asked if they had a 'depointment'. What Jerry meant to ask was did they have an appointment, but unfortunately Jerry was missing a few front teeth and so could not say 'an appointment'. It was the sight of this nearly toothless young man asking if they had a "depointment" that prompted Ann to tell her brother that perhaps this wasn't a good place to look for a new business enterprise.

But her brother said, "Wait a minute, this looks very interesting." And they both came in.

The minute I saw her it was love at first sight. Did I mention that my office had huge windows that let in coruscating sheets of light? Well, those sheets wrapped themselves around her light skin and blond hair and presented her to me as if Aphrodite glided into the room on the shell of a scallop. I leaned over to Leo, my salesmanager, and said with all the confidence of a sure bet, "I'm going to marry that girl."

Less than 90 days later, we were married.

How Did That Happen?

Of course, I am leaving out a lot of stuff that happened between 15 March and 12 June. First of all, she didn't like me at all. Regular readers of mine already know that I am an arrogant, insensitive, offensive, obnoxious know-it-all type; so what was there to like? My only redeeming quality was my sense of humor.

But how to get her to get to know me? I tried asking for a date but she turned me down. Then I hit upon a plan.

Her brother did end up opening a car leasing franchise with me in Red Bank, New Jersey. Ann lived only ten minutes away in Middletown. So what I did was to drive 50 minutes every night to Red Bank on the pretext of helping her brother with the franchise just on the off-chance that I might run into her, but she was always on a date with one guy or another. She didn't have a steady boyfriend and I thought I had a chance if I could get her to know me.

I Begin Stalking Ann

The first time I asked Ted if he knew where Ann went on her date, he told me the Molly Pitcher Inn, a restaurant in Red Bank, N.J. So I scooted over there and walked through the restaurant until I spotted her with her date. "Oh, Ann, Hi. What a coincidence." She didn't immediately respond to my words, it took her a moment before she asked, "What are you doing here?"

I lied, "I'm looking for a good place to have a lunch-meeting with a prospective client, Ted suggested this restaurant." Ann introduced me to her date, a basketball player from somewhere, I don't remember. I stood talking with her for a few minutes more about her brother and the car leasing business and after a while I excused myself and left the place.

A few weeks later I did the same thing at a different restaurant, her date this time was a fellow named Larry, and this time, she beat me to the punch with a wry smile, "I suppose this is a coincidence?" I talked with her a few minutes and left.

The third time I did this (yes I know it's called stalking but you could stalk women back in 1975) she was on a date with a Polish-born Jewish businessman. She was 26, he was 40, I was 30. I just found out he died a few months ago prompting me to write this article today. In a few minutes I'll inform my wife of his death.

But back to the date. So there I am walking through another restaurant when by coincidence I come upon Ann and her date. This time, she didn't seem amused. She introduced me to the fellow who at that time owned a wine distributorship. While I was standing talking to them, the waiter came over with the wine. Her date asked for the cork and began massaging it. I told him, "I find that tasting the wine tells you everything you need to know about the wine." Interestingly, he then asked me if I would like to sit down to further discuss wine and corks, which I did.

I Promise to Stop Stalking Her

Later that night she phoned me at my home asking me not to show up at any more of her dates, to stop stalking her. I said I would if she went on one date with me. "One date and that's it - you promise not to try to talk to me or see me again?" I gave her my word and I intended to keep my promise.

So two months after we first met, we went on a date. 27 days later we were man and wife. Every one of her friends and relatives who met me told her our marriage wouldn't last. And now, 38 years and 9 months later we are still married while most of those predicting the failure of our marriage have long since divorced from their mates.

And yes, that's a picture of me above when I was younger, stalking my wife. She never had a chance.



### End of my article ###

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