Al Sharpton picked up his morning copy of the Daily News and his hands began to shake; the headline read: "Black unemployment reaches lowest levels in decades, black poverty to virtually be eliminated by 2020." He turned on the radio and heard the confirmation as well: "Economists are stunned at the recent turnaround in the fortunes of America's black citizens. Young black men have been turning up at employment offices en masse in a strategy to advance their employment numbers. And it's working."

The TV had even a more outrageous news to report: "MSNBC has just learned that a new credo has mysteriously been adopted by a growing number of young black men when confronted by local law enforcement: 'Go wit da flo.'" The idea here is that young black men are now purposely being polite to officers and not giving attitude or resisting arrest. This novel technique has resulted in a statistic that shook Sharpton's body with an unearthly tremble: not one single black man was shot or killed by police actions in over a month.

This can't be happening, Sharpton thought to himself. He then woke up from his nightmare. "Thank God," he said to himself. There could be nothing worse for Sharpton's livelihood than for blacks as a group to advance.

Blacks will never advance

• if they don't help each other out.


• if they look like ubangis from Africa.


• if they continue to be racists against whites.


• if they continue to whine about past bigotry and discrimination.


• if they name their children with stupid ebonic names such as crapisha. Shaquille O’Neal is an anomaly who, because of his outrageous skills, would have been successful even if his name were Iwannfukyodawta.


• stop converting to Islam. Blacks have no better friend than Jews. It was Jews who fought for their civil rights during the 50s; yet what religion do blacks take for themselves? Islam. Blacks are the major group converting to Islam in America today. Islam has enslaved more blacks than any other religion and continues to this day to enslave blacks.


• especially if they continue to listen to race-baiters such as Al Sharpton.