Osama Bin Laden`s Garbage Can




Osama bin Laden - How to live in a cave and eat dirt
Photo Credit: About.com

Perhaps Afghanistan's only moderate Muslim, Mujib ibn Gamalfokker sent me a letter saying that although he hated Planck's Constant he hated Osama bin Laden even more. Osama had taken Mujib's favorite goat and as revenge, Mujib said he would sell me the contents of Osama bin Laden's garbage can for 100,000 Afghani puls (or about $20.00 USD).

So I sent Mujib a money order for $20.00 but he was afraid to deposit the money on account of something he read in the New York Times, so he traded the Money Order directly for a small goat. Seems the nights get very cold in Afghanistan.

One can make interesting observations about a person's lifestyle by going through his garbage. Here are some:

Osama likes Islamic crossword puzzles (I have left the answers out in case any of my readers would like to give it a try):

  • 1 Down _ _ _ _ Sons of Apes and Pigs

  • 6 Down _ _ _ _ Secret Cabal running the World's Governments

  • 11 Down _ _ _ _ Inventors of Banks and Usurious interest rates

  • 17 Down _ _ _ _ Once they are gone Islam can then turn attention to Christians

  • 2 Across _ _ _ _ Occupiers of the Holy Land

  • 8 Across _ _ _ _ In the dead of night they steal organs from Muslim Children

  • 13 Across _ _ _ _ The Little Satan

  • 19 Across _ _ _ _ Six Million of them never really died, pity.


here is one of Osama's To-Do lists:


  1. Send flowers to Zarqawi's family along with letter of condolence. Mention that he is great martyr in the War against the Crusaders and Jews, yada-yada-yada...

  2. Send flowers to Shamil Basayev's family along with letter of condolence. Mention that he is great martyr in the War against the Crusaders and Jews, yada-yada-yada...

  3. Get flowers and a condolence letter ready for Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah. Mention that he is great martyr in the War against the Crusaders and Jews, yada-yada-yada...

  4. Send thank you notes to the following American traitors on their support of Hezbollah and put some money in the bank accounts for:
    Abercrombie
    Conyers
    Dingell
    Kilpatrick (MI)
    McDermott
    Paul
    Rahall
    Stark
    Kaptur
    Kucinich
    Lee
    Waters

  5. Get Hassan to steal Mujib's goat. She is so pretty and Mujib does not want to sell.

  6. Renew subscription to New York Times

  7. Send money to Swiss Bank Account B. Keller

  8. Buy bigger blanket - goat is cold.

  9. Get Hassan to ask Mujib to stop hanging around my garbage bin. He is attracting flies.



### End of my article ###

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