The Subjugation of Jewish Women from Planck's Constant

Warning: some of the attempt at humor below may be offensive to Jewish women. That was not the intent. I explain more at the UPDATE to this article below.

I frequently get emails asking why I attack portions of the Quran that are backward and barbaric yet fail to equally attack backward and barbaric portions of the Torah. The simple answer is that no Jews are out there stoning those who fail to follow Judaic law and certainly no Jews are burning down embassies when someone makes fun of Moses. When a Muslim woman is caught in adultery she is stoned to death. When a Jewish woman is caught in adultery she gets half of the house and $100,000 a year in alimony. The Law in both the Quran and the Torah demand the same penalty so why the difference in application?

In my previous post The Worst Parts Of Judaism/Christianity, I wrote "Stonings for adultery, hanging for minor religious offenses, the subjugation of women, all the primitive detritus that Jews and Christians had long ago discarded were cherry-picked by Mohammed for his 'Religion of Tolerance'". I expect that just as it took thousands of years for Jews and Christians to ignore the barbarities of their Holy Books, so too, I expect that in another thousand years most Muslims, even the most ignorant will also ignore the primitive and barbaric portions of the Quran and live as decent, tolerant, and civilized human beings. But for the time being, as long as they follow to the letter the rantings of a barbaric pedophile, I will continue to concentrate only on the primitive barbarity of Islam.

But fair is fair, so in this post, let's discuss the issue of subjugation of women, Islam vs Judaism:

Favorite Sexual Position:
Muslim woman: Alive and not beaten too severely.
Jewish Woman: Facing Bloomingdale's.

Inheritance:
Muslim Woman: receives a half-share equal to that of a man.
Jewish Woman: gets everything that isn't nailed down. If it's nailed down, she lives in it.

Walking Outdoors:
Muslim Woman: Walks behind the man.
Jewish Woman: Could care less how far behind her husband is trailing as long as he shows up to pay the bill.

Matrimony:
Muslim Woman: is one of four possible wives.
Jewish Woman: Has had four husbands already.

Cosmetic Surgery:
Muslim Woman: If she had the nerve to ask her husband for a nose job he would give her one with a punch to the face.
Jewish Woman: If she doesn't get a nose job, she'll give her husband a punch to his face.

Being Circumcised:
Muslim Woman: Her husband would demand that she's been circumcised.
Jewish Woman: She would demand that her husband's been circumcised.

Animals:
Muslim Woman: Is treated no better than a farm animal. Goats do not have to wear a burqa in hot weather.
Jewish Woman: Treats her husband no better than a farm animal. Does not mind wearing a $10,000 fur of an animal even in hot weather.

Medicine:
Muslim Woman: Unable to speak to a doctor directly but must do so through an intermediary.
Jewish Woman: Complains that her son the Doctor doesn't call her enough on the phone.

At the beach:
Muslim Woman: Has to be covered head to toe in a hijab no matter the heat.
Jewish Woman: Has to be covered head to toe in diamonds no matter the heat.

Descent:
Islam: Descent is through the father.
Judaism: Descent is through the mother.

I could go on, but you get the point. Despite this, there is a rising number of idiot females in America who convert to Islam. Many of them are, of course, in denial about the subjugation of women in Islam. They point to Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia and say that happens only there. Here in America, they are as free as any other woman. They recite one sentence - "I believe there is no god but God and that Mohammed is a messenger of God" - and boom! they become a Muslim. Now if you look in a mirror and say "Candyman" five times nothing deadly will really happen to you, it's only a fiction. But thinking that becoming a Muslim woman will still keep you free is also a fiction.

It is sheer hypocrisy to be safe here in America and say "look I'm a Muslim woman and I'm free and equal to males." Go yell that in a truly Muslim country and see how many lashes of the whip you get! If enough idiots become Muslim here, then Shariah is not far away at all. And if Shariah comes to the US, they can kiss their Muslim asses goodbye for they will then live as females do under the Taliban.

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UPDATE: (about 7 hours after I wrote the above)
The notion that Jewish women are subjugated is so outlandish that I was too sardonic in my attempt at humor. I was trying to show that Jewish women are so well-treated by their husbands that any comparison with Muslims is totally ludicrous. I did not intend to be insulting to Jewish women. After years of telling Jewish American Princess jokes to my female relatives I may have lost perspective on how these may be viewed by strangers. If you took offense, I apologize. I am leaving the post as it is so that everyone can see my mistakes. When I make a mistake I don't bury it.