Since Muslims like to laugh when missiles are launched from their buildings, I thought I would collect some jokes for my non-Muslim readers who rarely have missiles launched from their domiciles and so are deprived of a good laugh:

A ship full of Pakistanis sinks on the way to America and there are only 3 survivors; Ahmed, Mahmed, and Fatima.

They manage to swim to a small Pacific island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do; but being Muslims they did it anyway.

After years of constant, casual sex, Fatima felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing, especially since Ahmed and Mahmed called her a slut and a whore for having sex with them. Finally, ridden with guilt, Fatima killed herself.

It was tragic, but Ahmed and Mahmed managed to get through it.

After a while, Ahmed's and Mahmed's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened. A couple more years went by... and then Ahmed and Mahmed began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.

So they buried Fatima.

It's true, not all Palestinians blow themselves up: Two Israelis are in an elevator when the doors open and a Palestinian gets on. After the doors close, the Palestinian lets out a huge, noisy fart. The doors open again and the Palestinian gets off. One Jew looks at the other, wipes his brow and says, "Thank God! Must have been a dud!"

When Muslims are sick, they are really sick:

Ahmed calls his boss at work and says, "Looky here, Bossman, I am much sorry, but I cannot come to work today, I am very sick."

"Sick!" screams his boss "Sick! This is the tenth time this month, Ahmed. Exactly how sick are you?"

"Well", replies Ahmed. "I'm in bed with my 9 year old daughter"

An Arab is stuck on an island; he had been there for a few days when he stumbled across a magical lamp. The Arab rubs the lamp and after a brief puff of a smoke a genie pops out and says I will grant you a wish. The Arab says make me smart so I can think of a way to get off this island. The genie waves his hand and turns him into a Jew. The Jew then walks across the foot bridge to the other side.

Islam: The ideology that promotes the theory that ignorance equals knowledge, barbarity equals tolerance, lies equal truth, and evil equals good.

Here's a hint on how Muslims can make money:

Ahmed and Farooz are pan-handling on the Metro (French Subway).

Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house, and has a ton of money.

Farooz only takes in two or three Euros a day. So Farooz asks Ahmed how he can bring home a suitcase full of 10 Euro bills everyday.

Ahmed says,”Farooz, look at your sign. It say 'I have no work, three wifes and 16 kids to support'".

Then Farooz looks at Ahmed’s sign.

It reads, 'I only need another 10 Euros to move back to North Africa.'

There are many who think that Muslims do not value life; they are wrong, here is proof that Muslims have feelings for others:

A CNN reporter covering a plague which killed 10,000 Muslims in an African village goes to a nearby grass hut to ask questions about the disaster.

There, inside the hut, is Mohammed Haji perfectly fine and wearing a big smile. "Yes, yes, terrible tragedy, Subhan'Allah (Glory be to God)!"

The infidel reporter is puzzled by his reaction to all the deaths in his village.

The next day, the infidel is passing through the village again and sees Mohammed Haji bawling and wailing like a child, throwing sand in the air, beating his chest, and swearing oaths while pummeling the sky with his fist. The reporter runs quickly over and asks what happened, did his father die, had his children succumbed to the plague?

Mohammed Haji cried, "Oh how can i bear it... this is terrible... such a disaster!"

The reporter is frozen in fear - this must be an immeasurable calamity. Yesterday when 10,000 people died this simple Muslim was cool, collected. So he asks, "What happened?"

Mohammed Haji: "A poor and innocent Muslim died when he was trying to bomb a school in Israel!"

More of my Muslim humor can be found here.

Notes

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Mere Rhetoric Blog, Video: Opps! Al Arabiya Accidentally Airs Description Of Hamas Firing Rockets From Al Arabiya's Own Studio

Recorded on January 1. Via LGF it turns out that there are in fact subtitles embedded in this video - you can turn them on by clicking on the button on the bottom-right. The emailer who sent the link backs up the video description: this is Al Arabiya reporter Hannan al-Masri being told - while live on the air - that Hamas has just fired rockets from the ground floor of the Al Arabiya studio. She reacts with something less than distress: