I am often asked for advice but time to time I am offered tips from others on how to live better. This is one of those times. I received this medical tip from a friend and thought it might help some of my readers:
Grouchy Old Cripple, Holistic Medicine
If you are bothered by occasional or frequent constipation, look in the mirror and repeat the following sentence three times in succession when symptoms occur:
"My financial and personal well being are totally in the hands of Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Tim Geithner, Rahm Emmanual, Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, Maxine Waters, Corrine Brown, and Al Gore".
If that doesn't scare the shit out of you, then you are probably destined to be backed up for the rest of your life.
In a somewhat related theme, The Stabbing Pen blogger found something other than his navel to contemplate:
Have you ever found yourself sitting on the toilet, just doing your business, but staring downward at the water? Of course you have.
Either it’s never happened to me, or I’ve only started to notice it within the past year or so. Depending on the physics of certain bathrooms, it’s possible to see the poop coming out in the reflection in the water.
Well, that was a bit weird but it reminded me of the time 23 years ago when I had to be careful how I defecated so I left the following comment to that article: "In 1986 I went on a fruit-only diet for a few weeks. The poop started coming out in such long snakes that I had to gently rise with a slow hula motion of my hips as if I were making a frozen chocolate yogurt. With a little practice I was able to make great looking swirlies. I don’t do that anymore."