Camel lady with veil
Photo: Raphael Bick Travel Photography

Sometimes you sit there watching TV and you see a report on some bombing in Afghanistan and wonder if you could be a Taliban. Well, there is a fool-proof test.

You might be Taliban if:

Your home doesn't have drapes, but your camel does.

You can't have sex with your first wife until she turns 13.

You have at least four brothers named Mohammed.

You refine heroin for a living, but have a "moral objection" to beer.

You own a $500 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

You believe masturbation is evil but beating your wife is OK.

Your mother would be happier if you blew up into a million pieces.

You have more wives than teeth.

You think vests come in two styles, bullet proof and suicide.

You'll kill anyone that says you’re not peaceful.

You wear eyeliner but you have been acquitted at least once for murdering your wife, sister, or daughter because they wore makeup.