Taliban Humor


By Bernie on 24 Oct 2009




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New Taliban Secret Weapon
New Taliban Secret Weapon
Photo Credit: Strategy Page

I have collected the following Taliban jokes from numerous emails from my readers. Rather than posting one or two emails at a time, I decided to wait until I had a few dozen of them.

I have added a few jokes of my own to the list. Enjoy.

A Taliban walks into a school with his favorite goat. The headmaster stops them and says, "Hey, no filthy animals allowed on school property."

The Taliban says, "Don't talk about my goat that way."

The headmaster replied, "I wasn't talking about your goat."


Q. Why did the Taliban school alternate Sex Education classes with Drivers Ed.?
A. They only had one camel.

A Pashtun Taliban was walking in the street dragging a goat on a leash.

"Ahmad, what is that? Did you buy a goat?"

"So what? Can't a poor Pashtun have a goat?"

"Yes, but where will you keep him? You live in one room with your wife and five daughters?"

"I'll keep him in our room."

"But Ahmad, what about the stink?"

"The goat will just have to get used to it."


Q. How can you tell if a Taliban couple are divorced?
A. They live in separate caves.

Q. Why are Osama bin Laden and President Clinton alike?
A. Neither sleeps in the same bed two nights in a row.

Taliban TV Guide

MONDAYS:
8:00 - "Husseinfeld"
8:30 - "Mad About Everything"
9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"
9:30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"
10:00 - "Allah McBeal"

TUESDAYS:
8:00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"
8:30 - "The Price is Right If Usama Says Its Right"
9:00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things"
9:30 - "Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
10:00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"

WEDNESDAYS:
8:00 - "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
8:30 - "Bowling For Food"
9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"
9:30 - "Just Shoot Everyone"
10:00 - "Veilwatch"

THURSDAYS:
8:00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"
8:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"
9:00 - "Veronicas Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils"
9:30 - "My Two Baghdads"
10:00 - "Diagnosis: Heresy"

FRIDAYS:
8:00 - "Judge Laden"
8:30 - "Funniest Super 8 Home Movies"
9:00 - "Who Wants To Execute A Multimillionare"
9:30 - "Achmeds Creek"
10:00 - "No-witness News"

curlicue.jpg

Osama bin Laden as 7-11 EmployeeQ: What is the Taliban's national bird?
A: Duck

Q: How do you identify a gay Taliban?
A: He’s the one hanging from the lamppost.

Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...

Q. Why do all Taliban man sport a beard?
A. Why not, their wives do.

See also:

Planck's Constant , You might be Taliban if...

You might be Taliban if:

You have at least four brothers named Mohammed.

You refine heroin for a living, but have a "moral objection" to beer.

You own a $500 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

...






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