Here we are a week from Christmas and for all you Ahmeds out there looking for the perfect Christmas gift for the jihadi-youngster of yours, I present the following perfect toy: it has an edible double layer of dark and white chocolate with a surprise gift inside. No Muslim child should be without one.

This is the present that keeps on giving. Your son or daughter is only one "Allahu Akbar" away from Paradise. When your child says, "Daddy, this present is great - I'm in Heaven," he soon will be.