Bullied Kid Did Right in Fighting Back
By now, many of you have probably viewed the CBS News video (1) out of Australia showing 15-year-old Casey Heynes body slamming his tormentor after he had had enough of his bullying. Casey admitted that because of the bullying, he had actually contemplated suicide a year earlier.
Some adults have criticized Casey, insisting he should have gone to the school authorities. Yeah, as if that would have helped with Casey's immediate problem of being assaulted.
In my article How to Succeed in America, I recounted how someone tried to make fun of me in kindergarten and I punched him in the face, never to be made fun of again.
In the same article I also wrote that when I was 14 years of age a kid in the neighborhood tried to shake me down for a dollar threatening to beat me up unless I handed it over. I gave him the money and then went to the police station to complain. The Bayonne Police picked him up, brought him to headquarters and laid a little rubber hose on his legs. I saw him limping a few days later, gave me my dollar back and I was never bothered by him again.
That was a time (1959) when police had zero tolerance for bad teen behavior. Some of my readers may be too young to understand why that boy did not go to his parents to tell them that the police had beaten him. In those days, if parents found out their child was picked up by the police they'd have beaten him even worse than the police.
So complaining to the authorities worked in my case because they actually did something other than send the offending party to a class on anger management or give him a tongue lashing. I have to tell you that at the time I wasn't sure that the police would do anything. I recall thinking to myself that if they could not change the bully's behavior, I was not going to tolerate paying tribute to him for the next few years and so I ran a few scenarios through my mind on how to retaliate in such a manner that he would never come near me again.
However, if I were being physically assaulted, going to the authorities later might be too late. Sometimes the only recourse is to fight back as violently, viciously, and vigorously as possible to deter future bullying. Bullies only pick on easy marks.
Shortly after this incident I started selling bombs made from gunpowder taken from ashcans and cherry bombs (which I chronicled in my 2008 article I could have been Leonardo DiCaprio) which might have kept anyone from trying to pick a fight with me since I also helped spread the idea that I was a dangerous wacko who wouldn't care if he threw a large bomb into someone's home.
Except for that one request for money, no one ever bothered me my entire academic life even though I was generally the shortest guy in class. I was 5' 1" in high school - I am 5' 6" tall now.
Many of my friends are shocked to learn that I've never been punched in the face or (except for one time in kindergarten) been involved in a fist-fight. I suppose much of their shock is due to their surprise that someone as obnoxious, insulting, and abrasive as I am, has not been thoroughly throttled by an offended party by now. I should mention that most people who meet me in person find me a rather pleasant fellow. On the other hand, in print many of my readers find me racist, bigoted, hateful, spiteful, uncaring, and intolerant. Go figure.
Teasing is Good - Bullying is Bad
There is a difference between making fun of someone and bullying. There is a difference between laughing at someone who slips on a banana peel and a bully who purposely pushes someone down. When I was in school, children knew the difference between bullying and teasing. If a child farts in class, it is appropriate that kids laugh at the offending gasbag, otherwise we will have children farting everywhere all day long. However, once the incident is over the laughter should stop.
This is where I think parents, schools, and society have gone wrong. By saying all teasing is wrong, we never get to explain the difference between laughing at someone and brutalizing, relentless, constant bullying.
There is nothing wrong with a friend telling you that you are too fat. One of the reasons we have so many fat kids is that no one is allowed to say that being fat is not a good thing. Perhaps parents aren't teaching their kids that it is okay to speak your mind but not to poke your finger into someone's chest.
If you repress the child's urge to gently tease, it may erupt into unbearable bullying.
The link for the photo above informs us that half of all children are bullied at some time during their school years, and at least 10% are bullied on a regular basis. I believe bullying has gotten worse since I was a child because school officials now have zero tolerance for any kind of teasing (thus making kids more frustrated and more likely to physically bully), yet tolerate bullying.
In Casey's situation above, the school suspended both making no distinction between bully and victim. That is wrong.
ENDNOTES
(1):
YouTube, Bullied kid fights back
High Definition Version: Click Here.
Note: if the video above is removed by YouTube, you can download it from my server here. You will need VLC Media Player to view it.
