Sick Muslim Jokes

I finally got my blog software to stop crapping out on me. To celebrate this event, allow me to present some sick jokes in my continuing series of Muslim Jokes. Let me first mention that I believe what makes jokes funny is that there is a grain of truth in every joke. And so you will find that many of my Muslims jokes are really truths wrapped in humor taken from news reports around the world.

Ahmed's wife was having trouble making her mind up as to what kind of phone she wanted for her birthday, it was either a Blackberry or an Iphone, so he gave her both: a Black I.

Five Muslims walking down the street: a thief, a terrorist, a liar, a rapist, and a smelly c*nt -- and that's just the first f*cker.

A Muslim was caught having sex with a sheep today. He said it was islamb and he could do what he f*cking wanted with it.

Iranian scientists have found a new use for sheep: Wool. [see companion story: Iranian Scientists Claim to Have Cloned Sheep]

Q: What is the difference between a smelly Muslim and a pair of jeans?

A: A pair of jeans only has 1 fly on it.

Ahmed phoned the Sexual Assault Helpline earlier today and asked the rape counselor, "I've got her pinned down, what do I do now?" [see companion story: British Muslim women's helpline: Their voices won't go unheard again]

Q: What's round and hates Muslims?
A: The World.

Libya is now a no fly zone unlike Pakistan where the smelly twats are covered in them.

Supposedly, Muslim women wear all-over body-robes to make themselves unattractive to men. You would think being a f*cking Muslim would be enough! [However, covering their entire body does not ward off sexual abuse from Muslim men, see my article The Myth that Veiling Protects Women from Assault]

Allow me to wrap up by answering an email from a distressed reader:

Dear Bernie:

I am 15 and pregnant and my Catholic parents don't know. As well, they haven't met my Muslim boyfriend. He is bisexual and HIV positive and he has Tourette's. He is married and is 40 years older than me. He deals drugs and carries a gun. He lives in an abandoned building and is just out of jail and he likes animal porn. What should I do? -- DISTRESSED IN MINNEAPOLIS.


I have always believed that telling the truth is always the best solution and so normally I would advise you to tell your parents everything, however in your particular case I would suggest you avoid mentioning that your boyfriend is a Muslim -- there are just some things too egregiously disgusting for parents to handle.

### End of my article ###

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